Are You Good Enough?
When I was in the 6th grade, I have a memory that has always stayed with me all these years. Our class was lining up on the sidewalk to walk to the cafeteria for lunch. There was this certain boy that picked on me constantly. I still remember his name and I can remember his face. I don’t remember seeing him in high school and I’ve always wondered what ever happened to him. Anyway, back to my story…..as we were standing in line, I was directly behind him and he was one of those kids that was all over the place, picking on people, getting in trouble, etc. I was the shy girl who didn’t say much and if I did, you wouldn’t be able to hear me as I had and still have a quiet soft voice. We were just about to start walking to the cafeteria when this guy turned around and said, “Man, you are ugly!” Kids started laughing and I didn’t have a clue what to say or do. So, all the sudden out of my mouth came, “Well, I wasn’t born for you!” I have no idea why I said that or where I even mustered up the thought to say that. Everyone started laughing at him and he just looked at me and turned back around. He never bothered me again.
It has always been a struggle to accept myself just as I am and I have always worked on it. When I made Jesus Lord of my life at 14, I gained a whole new perspective on who I was and how God created me. Psalm 139:14 became a verse that I learned to quote to myself regularly when I felt insignificant or not up to par with most people that I knew. I have a lifetime of lessons that I have learned and that have helped to form me into who I am today at the age of 64. Even at 64, there are times that I have to quote that verse and remind myself that God created me just as I am and He knew who I was and what my life would be before I was even born. To me that is a comfort.
I have learned that you can quote that scripture all you want, but you better believe it deep down because trust me, we will be reminded by others that we aren’t really anything special.
Have you ever been having a good day and you sit down to scroll through your social media and then when you are done, you don’t feel like you are having a good day all of the sudden. You might not feel good enough and that your life is pretty boring or not special enough. I can’t even imagine how my life would have been when I was a teen or even a young mom and social media would have been the rage. I always wonder how I would have handled all of that.
The point I want to make today is… you are good enough! You are perfectly designed by our amazing Creator, God himself! Don’t wait another moment to get that down in your head. Don’t let the enemy take precious moments from you. We have one life to live and we want to live it to the fullest. How can we live life to the fullest if comparison issues come up or we allow others to steal our self worth from us.
Don’t let others decide how worthy you are. If you begin trying to please others, you are going to be let down. We live in a world where manners are no longer that important. Kindness is pretty much a thing of the past it seems. If you are depending on someone else to make you feel good about yourself, you might be waiting a very long time.
We want to be confident in who we are. We want to build others up and be an encourager to others. Wouldn’t you want to be known as the one who was kind, compassionate and an encouragement to others? Oh, you can still care about yourself in the way that you walk, talk and dress but don’t let that be all you are known for. By the way, when we care to dress up for others that is an act of respect for someone else. When we don’t take pride in our homes and how we dress it could be showing how you feel about yourself deep down.
Let’s hold our head up and be proud of who we are and show others we care about them by how we treat them in our speech and how we present ourselves to the world. All the while knowing that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator!
So, if you have all that down, what will you do when someone lets you know that you are not their favorite person in the world and they really want you to know it? They really can’t live with themselves unless they tell you in some form that you are nothing to them. Has that every happened to you? I actually had someone say to my face that if they saw me on the street, I’d be the last person they’d choose to be friends with. No, that wasn’t from jr. high; I was in my late 30’s when this was told to me. Now, that’s a moment you better have some strong self worth going on.
Some of the ways that people can let you know just how little they think of you is of course by telling you straight to your face, “Man, you are ugly!” Hopefully, no one ever does that to you. But a few other ways are by ignoring you, not speaking to you when you walk up to them in their group, gossiping about you, spreading lies about you, inviting you somewhere then leaving you by yourself as they walk off with someone else, not answering your calls, emails or texts, saying hurtful things to you and not caring if it hurt you, making fun of the way you look or dress, unfollowing you on social media, saying rude things in a group setting that are meant to be towards you, not including you on purpose just so you know that you mean nothing to them, they don’t make you feel welcome in social situations and leave you by yourself….the list could go on and on. I’m sure you have some examples of how you have been made to feel unworthy or insignificant. This will come from family, friends, church members, neighbors and even a stranger while out shopping. So don’t be surprised….remember, I warned you. -wink
So what will you do when these things happen to you? Will you still hold your head up and remember Psalm 139:14? Will you not take it personal and realize that the enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy and that pretty much means you have a target on your back! This is the time to be strong and have a strong self worth. Don’t ever let your self worth be taken from you. Do you remember when you were young and you were treated badly by friends and what would your mom usually say? “Don’t let it bother you, they are just jealous of you!” That was always a hard one for me to believe, but looking back on some of the things that I have seen and heard, it’s probably pretty much true…jealousy is an awful thing to have and to deal with in others. When someone is jealous of you, it means they are very insecure in who they are. So for us, we want to be very secure in who we are so we don’t have to deal with something like jealousy in our hearts.
I was a girl who grew up in a very insecure world and even though I became a believer at 14, I still had struggles with security and trust. While serving in full time ministry, I was reminded many times that the cruelty of people in and out of the church building is very real and hurtful. If I can encourage you of one main thing that would be to always know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and when those times come, which they will and you will even be surprised by who it is, hold your head high because you have a Heavenly Father who knows what rejection is all about. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to be impressed with you. Matter of fact, others will feel threatened by you due to jealousy.
Be kind, loving and compassionate to others. I know there will be times, you want them to know that you know how awful and rude they are and you don’t want them to think you are dumb and can’t see what they are doing, but… hold your tongue and lean on your Heavenly Father to walk you through it. He will…..trust me on that. I’ve seen it all and deeply hurt by those I trusted and even loved. You will be okay, I promise!
Oh, I so hope you know Jesus as your Savior as I can’t imagine dealing with the cruelty of others without knowing Him. He will walk you through every step you take. If you don’t have that peace of a loving and faithful Savior click here and find out how you can know Him personally! It will be worth it!
Have an amazing day and make Psalm 139:14 your verse that you lean on when you feel unworthy by others. You are a beautiful creation and no one can take that from you!
Until next time,
I wonder what happened to all those pesky boys who continually bothered us when we were young. I wonder who they grew up to be? Actually, I feel sorry for them. It was only their awkward insecurities that made them so irritating.
You were so beautiful when you were young, and still are, and there was no need for you to feel insecure. I think most women feel the same way as you do. I sure did, and I see it in my daughters and many other women. Something we have to fight and struggle with all our lives. But I’m always reminded that “God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty”, and perhaps He has a reason that we are humbled and not lifted up in pride and arrogance.
I read this quote the other day, and thought about it a lot when I was getting ready to attend a gallery event of talented artists and feeling not very confident of my own art in comparison…
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you are better than everyone; it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.”
I found myself forgetting about me and concentrating on the other artists. Meeting them and having an interest in their art and praying to be a vessel for words of wisdom and encouragement to others. It’s a very comfortable place to be.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. Perhaps the struggles you’ve had is what has made you the beautiful, encouraging woman you are today. <3
Hi Karin, What a beautiful comment you left. I loved your words! I always love hearing your wisdom; you have so much to offer so many. Your daughters are very blessed to have you. From what I’ve seen of your art, you having nothing to fear. You belong in with the best of the best artists out there! Great verse and thoughts on being humbled, too! Thank you for your words of wisdom, as always!
I enjoyed this post so much!
I was bullied in middle school by boys (and girls) about the way I looked too!
It never once occurred to me that those mean things they said about me weren’t true.
Then I met Jesus(at 21) and He told me the truth… Psalm 139:14
This scripture is the perfect reminder of our worth.
Thank you, Beverly!
Hi Nancy! How exciting that you met Jesus when you were 21! Being bullied is a very real thing and a very traumatic thing when we are young. I’m sorry you were treated that way. Don’t you wish we would have known and been secure in who we were in Christ and how shallow those that bully others are? You are a joy to so many and a beautiful light!