10 Ways to Become a Woman of Influence

Have you thought of building friendships with the ladies that serve with your in your church?  As a pastor’s wife, you have a group of ladies around you that are hungry to learn from you and most of all, to have a friend that loves them and prays for them.  I thought I would share some of my ideas in beginning a ministry with these ladies.  I would have loved to have had this in my life when we were in full-time ministry.

  1.  Get together once a month for lunch and use this time to get to know one another so you know how to better pray for each other.
  2. Attend a women’s conference together and learn things that will build your personal lives as well as the church.
  3. Go on a shopping trip together.  This would be a fun and casual way to build a relationship.
  4. Have the ladies in your home for a luncheon or dessert.  It’s very rare these days to host people in our homes.  Practice true hospitality with these special ladies. Show them what hospitality is….don’t just talk about it.
  5. Have each of the staff couples over for dinner in your home.
  6. Do a Bible Study designed for  pastor’s wives together.
  7. Suggest books that you know would be an encouragement to their marriage, home building, child raising and ministry.
  8. Get to know their children.  Pray for each child.  Find out their birthdates and send a card on their special day. Be a friend to their kiddos.
  9. Pray regularly for these women.
  10. Always be a source of encouragement and be a true friend to each lady.

You may be in a small church and not even have a staff to work with.  I’m sure there are some teachers, ministry leaders and deacon wives that would love to have you take an interest in them.    You have people in your path that need your wisdom and guess what? You need them!  You may find that you are being ministered to yourself.

You will be teaching and sharing your wisdom of life in the ministry with these ladies as they get to know you and watch you as you love your husband, home and children.  They will see how you love the church and each member.  You will be giving an example to these ladies that they will carry on in their lives as they minister along with their husbands.  These couples may move on to another church someday and I can almost promise you that she will be so grateful for the love and the wisdom that you showed her during her time under your care.

Don’t miss this opportunity to make a difference in someones life.  Don’t leave it up to someone else to reach out.  Even if you have a thriving women’s ministry in your church, don’t think that is enough.  You need to have a true bond with the women who walk in the same shoes as you.  You need to be a team and support one another.

I hope you will begin today and build a ministry with the very ladies that are in ministry right alongside of you.

Maybe you have already built a solid relationship with your fellow staff wives of your church and ministry leaders.  If so, I would love for you to share what  you have done or plan to do to reach the women in your circle of influence.

You may be reading this and not in full-time ministry.  I hope you were still inspired to use the tips that I shared and reach out to the women in your life and design a way to build a relationship and become an inspiration to them.  It could be the women in your business, the women in your husbands office, your neighbors, friends, and family.  We have some work to do, don’t we?  I know I do.

I’m linking with A Wise Woman Builds Her Home blog.


Confessions of a Former Pastor’s Wife

I am working on a book that will deal with the things that I witnessed personally and with others while serving in full-time ministry along side of my husband.  Yes; the good, the bad and the not so pretty.  I have such great memories and how thankful I am that God allowed me to serve in such exciting ways.  I also have some memories that hurt deeply and I saw the not so pretty side of ministry.  I wasn’t sure if this would be a subject that would be needed and I shared an article with one of my favorite author ladies, she is an author/pastors wife/women’s ministry leader/loving wife and mother, Lois Evans. Click here to read more about her.  She published the article on her blog for pastor’s wives and so I thought I would use that to start off my series, Looking Back at the Glass House. Click here for the actual post.  I hope it makes a difference somehow for someone.  If you know  someone who is serving in ministry, I would love for you to share this with them.  Enjoy….

My Dad’s A Preacher!

“Oh, I bet you can’t, because your dad is a preacher!” Has anyone ever said this to your children? Would they know how to respond? You may want to prepare your children today, because more than likely, they will hear these very words throughout their childhood and into their teen years.

The Word of God is filled with verses that encouraged me to teach my children to love and serve God with all their heart, soul and mind. My goal was for my children to have their own convictions and not mine when they were grown. During our teaching and training years, we are able to teach, share and hopefully instill God’s ways into their hearts that will last a lifetime.

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9

There was one area that I was really particular about and that was to teach my children that if we did or didn’t do something a certain way, it was not because their father was a preacher. We honored God with our words and our actions because of our duty to bring honor and glory to God, not because their dad was a pastor. I have yet to find a verse that says anything that sounds like, “and because your father is a pastor you can’t ______________” or “and since your father is a pastor you must ________”

I learned this lesson when I was about 16. I had only been a Christian for a couple of years. Going to movies wasn’t really a big part of my life and my family didn’t have the extra money that it took to go. As I was growing in my faith and attending Bible Studies, I heard often about how Christians didn’t go to movies. One day I was talking to my very good friend at that time and asked her this question, “what do you say to people when they ask you why you don’t go to movies?” She very smugly said, “my father is a deacon and so we don’t go to movies.” I then said, “Why? She said, “because my dad is a deacon and we just don’t do that.” To this day, 41 years later, I can still hear that conversation and even see where I was sitting and I remember in my mind thinking in my head, “that is not a good reason at all!” Granted, I understand now what she was really saying, but that type of answer just wasn’t good enough for me!

Many years later when our son was about 8 years old, he had spent the day at the home of a very good friend. This was a sweet family that attended the church that my husband was serving as the associate pastor. When our son came home that evening, he was telling me all about his day and informed me that the family had sat down to watch a movie together. It was a movie that was out at that time that my husband and I had rented before and we actually stopped it because of the subject matter. If I told you the name of the movie you would probably laugh because it is a mild movie compared to what is normal today. I had told our kids about this movie and how we had stopped it due to the things that were in the movie. When the father of this family was starting the movie and mentioned the name, my son said, “I’m not allowed to watch that movie.” The dad then said, “oh, probably because your dad is a preacher.” Fortunately they didn’t watch the movie that day. When my son told me this story, it was a perfect opportunity to explain that his daddy being a preacher has nothing to do with it. It has to do with keeping our hearts and minds pure and not watching things that God doesn’t want to fill our minds with.

The words, “because your daddy is a preacher” was never said in our home. The convictions that we had and I pray even today, as they are adults, are because of their love and honor of God and His ways not because of man’s rules.

“But, as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, Be holy, for I am holy.” I Peter 1:15-16

Beverly Dillow


Looking Back At The Glass House, are Beverly’s writings on her life as a pastor’s wife. “Many lessons were learned and if I would have had a mentor along the side of me, I may have endured that season just a little bit better!” Her prayer is that “Looking Back At The Glass House” would serve as a mentor and be an encouragement to those women in the middle of serving alongside their husband, while raising a family and loving her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’m linking this post at: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home