Dirty Little Words

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Is it just me or have you noticed the questionable language that is rampant right now. Yes, I know people have been using foul language for a long time, but, it just seems that now it’s even cool to use words that you don’t expect to hear even on a news cast. It’s a common thing to hear a beep when interviewing people at a scene of an accident or rioters in the street. I can’t help but be curious when the beep goes on for a long time, what they are saying! I always think how can they say that many curse words in one long sentence. Or a famous “movie star” or “rock star” accepts his award and as he is talking, the silence button is on and you see his mouth moving for several seconds and wonder, what in the world is he saying that lasts that long. I’m guessing we probably don’t want to know.

I can hear someone saying, “oh no, poor Beverly, she is so fragile, she can’t stand to hear curse words.” I had someone tell me once, “Beverly, cover your virgin ears!” My virgin ears? What does that mean?

I grew up in a home where I heard plenty of questionable words. Granted, I didn’t know they were questionable words. I thought they were normal words. Words you use when you are happy, excited, mad or sad and especially when you are in trouble. I remember a few times my younger brother trying some out and he got his mouth washed out with soap. Yes, literally with soap. And back then we used a soap called, LAVA. Ouch! Needless to say, I didn’t want to try any words out. I really didn’t think about it. It was just life and that what grownups do.

I was in Jr. High and a group of girls were picking on me. We call it “bullying” now days. I seemed to be a pretty good target for bullies in jr. high. Anyway, one day, I was hurt and I was mad and someone asked me what was wrong. I let out a string of words that I had no idea I even knew how to say. I remember being embarrassed and almost ashamed by what I said. I didn’t like the way I felt. I felt ugly and I felt dirty. I also didn’t like the idea that people would think I talked that way. I made a choice that day…. I would not say ugly words like that ever again.

Today, I am 59 years old and I can still hear in my head the words that were used towards me and around me while growing up. I can still hear the dirty jokes that were told in my ear shot while at school. I’m almost pretty sure that it’s safe to say that, I’ve heard it all.

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am very picky about the movies I watch and the music I listen to. I can be watching a very good movie with an actor that I really like and when the language starts, I am done. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why Hollywood can’t make a movie without bad language. I just don’t think it’s possible anymore. I recently watched a 30 minute program because someone I knew was starring in it. This show featured kids and of course, bad language is used. I think it’s sad that we now know that it’s a normal thing to hear bad language even in a program that is primarily about young kids. If you say anything, then you are the strange one. Everyone knows that bad language is just a part of life. You can’t protect your children from it and if you try to, you are, well…..let’s just say…..strange…..out of it………miss goody two shoes (that was always my go to name from others)….the list goes on and on.

Now, we have politicians, newscasters, comedians, speakers and writers who just use whatever word they choose for the day, taking no consideration of who it will offend. Because, obviously when you can use bad words you are powerful and tough. You mean business when you can throw in a choice word or two. As one speaker I listened to at a conference said and I quote, “I’m a bad*** for Jesus!” Yea, she got a round of applause! So cool, right? Nah!

If you are like me and you made a choice that bad language would not be part of your world, you may find it a bit difficult sometimes. If you choose to not be around people that use bad words, write bad words, make fun of those that don’t use bad words, watch movies without bad words….well, let’s just say, you may find yourself alone and even thinking….”What is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I tolerate all of this?”

That’s when you go to God’s Word and hear what He has to say. You know, the one who created all of this. He gave man the free will to do whatever he wants to do. The problem is, if you chose to give your life to Christ and make Him Lord of your life, there are a lot of things that you may choose not to do and one of those are the words that we choose to say and think. When the Holy Spirit moves into your heart….thoughts, words and actions change. You have a total life change! And, oh am I so thankful for that!

When I was 13 years old, I made the choice to not use bad words because of the way it made me feel inside and how I thought others would view me. I didn’t want to be the kid with a dirty mouth.

When I was 14, I gave my life to Christ. I knew that He died for me and my sin and I then wanted to live my life for Him. I had a new reason not to talk ugly and dirty. I wanted my life to reflect that of my Heavenly Father. Oh, my, yes, there were a few times I slipped and I can actually remember one and I thought, where in the world did that come from. When your mind is full of junk, it will eventually come out. My mind had listened to it for a long time. 12 years in the public school system plus life outside of school, trust me, you will get more of an education than you bargained for.

When we set our children in the movie house or in the movie room and let them sit and watch whatever is popular and let their minds fill up with dirty words, it will come out. We buy them the latest music hit that is filled with choice words and let it fill their minds…it will come out eventually.

I know I have shared this so many times. There is a site called Plugged In. I challenge you to search the latest movie and read all about it. Then ask yourself if this what you want to put in my children’s minds. Or better yet, is this what you want to fill YOUR mind with. Two hours of 45 s words, 60 F words, the list goes on and on. We are just talking language now, not all the other.

I think it’s comical when we as adults do, say and participate in things that we don’t want our children doing. I haven’t figured out the logic of that one yet.

So, when we watch the news and wonder what has happened to our young people…what has happened to our culture? Take a look at what we fill our minds with. Newsflash…as parents we are responsible for what we let them fill their minds with. WE are responsible for what we fill OUR minds with.

In our Christian culture, I’ve noticed it has become popular to come as close to using bad language as possible. It always gets an easy laugh. I’ve heard preachers use language that I remember my brother getting his mouth washed out for and we laugh and say, “Isn’t he the coolest, he can use risky language all in the name of Jesus!” The one that is the rage right now is a word that is used for someone going to the bathroom, yea, that one. “Now, when they use that, they are seriously upset about something and yet so with it and cool!” What I wonder is, what is the next step for the next cool word that as Christians we can use and not think anything of?

Oh, Beverly, you better stop now. You are really a peculiar one, aren’t you? Yes, I am and thank you. I will take that as a compliment.(-wink)

“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;” – I Peter 2:9

Love that verse….I have been called out of the darkness! So very thankful!

Are you wanting help in cleaning up your language? Fill your mind with good things. Make a point to delete things from your life such as movies, music, books, etc. that are filled with bad language. Ask the one who loves you so much that He died for you to give you strength and to renew your mind. I know you can do it!

Thanks so much for following along on my blog and all of my latest thoughts. I sincerely do not intend or want to offend anyone. My goal is to encourage and edify. My other goal is to give you something to think about. I’m always anxious to hear your thoughts and challenges.

I’m linking this post with the blog, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home.

A Fresh New Year

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Happy 2019! We are at the end of the first month of the new year. Are you as shocked as I am? I just now got my “word” for the year figured out. I may be slow on some things, but, I usually get it done eventually.

This is my third year to choose a word and scripture for my theme of the year.

How do I choose my word?

As I’m planning my goals and dreams for the year, there is usually something that keeps popping in my head that I believe the Holy Spirit is nudging me about. This year there were three specific things that were on my mind and I wrote them down and came up with one word that pretty much summed up what I was dealing with. That word was, Renew.

I then went to God’s Word and did some research on this word and found several verses that dealt with this topic. As I read each of the verses, there was one that just popped. I knew without a doubt that was my verse to use as my theme verse for this year.

What does renew mean?

“: to make like new : restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection as we renew our strength in sleep2: to make new spiritually :3a: to restore to existence : b: to make extensive changes in : 4: to do again : 5: to begin again :” -Websters Dictionary

Why did you choose the word renew?

So glad you asked! As some of you know, I will be 60 this year! I can’t believe I just typed those numbers! But, I’m not thinking about it too much. I’m going to enjoy the last 5 months of my 59. I really like the 50’s. I’m trusting I will like the 60’s. But, let’s not talk about being 60 for now.

I have so many wonderful memories of my 59 years. I also have some sad memories. I’ve met some amazing people and have the blessing of having them in my life. I’ve also had some people that I will never understand how they think and how they get away with what they do. With all of that, throw in mistakes that I’ve made in my life over all these years and I would hope that the good choices I have made will outweigh my mistakes; I’m grateful for all of these years!

All that to say, I want to focus on renewing my thoughts, my goals and my life. I know without a doubt that I can’t do it on my own. That is why I chose the verse in Isaiah.

As I move into my 60th year, I’m depending on God to give me the strength to make the changes in my life that need changing and helping to reach my goals for this year. I actually created a vision board. This is the first time that I’ve done that. I won’t bore you with all my goals for the year, but, if I accomplish even half of them, I will be a happy girl! I decided I would share as I reach them. So, we will see what happens!

I encourage you to see if there is something that God wants you to focus on in your life that needs improving this year. Don’t just think about it and make a pretty meme, but, write it down and put it before you each day and make an effort to grow into what God is wanting to do in your life!

I heard a quote a long time ago. “God loves us just as we are, but, he loves us too much to leave us as we are.” I think that’s how it went.

Thanks for being a reader of my blog. I love your comments and look forward to hearing how God has nudged you to grow this year in certain areas of your life.

If you aren’t a subscriber to my blog, I would be honored if you subscribed. The subscription box is on the right side of my blog. You will receive in your inbox inspiration to be stronger in your walk with Christ in all the different areas of life that you and I are in the middle of. Let’s make 2019 the best year ever!

What You Got On? Your Mind?

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That’s a funny title to me, “What You Got On?  Your Mind?”  I knew someone years ago that always said that and I never understood it.  I think I get it now.

I just wanted to share a few things that are on my mind today.

I’m a list maker.  My mind will play over and over and over something that I need to do or something I’m thinking about or even an article that I want to write.  Once I get it all on paper, my mind is suddenly clear.  So, first thing in the morning I make my list for the day.  I used to do it the night before, but, my mind changes quickly and I may have a whole complete set of plans by morning.  So, I make my list and I try to keep it practical.  I LOVE crossing off the items I competed.  Those things that I didn’t complete I add them to my list the next day.  Such as, I have an item to get a birthday card for someone and I’ve added it to the list for the third day now.  Maybe I will get it done today.

I LOVE the Fall Season!  By the way, I have heard it both ways, do you capitalize Fall when speaking of the season?  I’ve heard it both ways and after I finish this post I will look it up.  That has been driving me crazy forever.  I would think it would be capitalized since it’s the name of a season?  But, who knows.  I’ll get to the bottom of it today.  I’ll put that on my list of to do’s.  Speaking of fall….Fall…..we are getting ready to take our annual trip to the Ozarks!  I love going there.  We are getting to do something on this trip that was a last minute event and I will share next week what it is.  I’m a wee bit excited!  The temps are going to be in the 70’s.  My favorite!  Can’t wait!

Our son and daughter in law are coming home soon.  They have been in Canada for several months.    Our son is an animator and he has actually traveled the world working for major movie companies. Some of the movies he has animated for are:  The Book of Life, The Peanuts Movie (my favorite), Ice Age 3, Rock Dog, Small Foot ( which is out this next week, can’t wait), Spider-Man (due out in December and there are more, I just can’t remember.  I love the work he has done for a company called Super Simple Learning.  Oh my, goodness….they are so cute!  Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Little Snowflake, Sweet Dreams and others.  Okay, I could go on an on, but….all that to say, I can’t wait til I see them.

My mom turned 80 this month.  She is such an amazing lady.  I wish you could sit down with her and glean her wisdom.  She is not only beautiful and healthy, but she is a joy to be around.  I hope I’m as full of life as she is when I’m 80.

I will be going to a blogger’s conference soon and I will be pitching a book that I’m working on.  I’m a bit nervous about it as I’m not sure it will go over, but, we will see.  I’ll share more on that soon.

Have you ever wept over a homeless person.  Well, I’m not really sure they are homeless, but, where I live we have people standing on corners with signs that say something like, “Out of work, need money to pay bills” or “I’m a vet and homeless” etc.  I was sitting at a light and a man was walking down the long stretch with his sign.  He had a brace on his leg and he looked like he was about 60 or so.  I didn’t have any small bills with me, so I hesitated to give him anything.  Fortunately the car behind me did and I felt better.  But, as he was walking back, all I could think of was, he is someone’s son.  He is someones husband, maybe?  He is someones father. Grandson…friend….I thought, how did he get to this place with so many people in his world.  It’s a very sad thing to think about isn’t it?  While in Austin last week, a young man was on the corner and he was obviously tired and just sat down and went to sleep.  Cars were passing by and I thought, where are the people that love him?  So, if you see me crying at a stop light and there is person begging for money, that is why.

Okay, I better stop for now, I could go on and on.  My mind is just so full of so much thinking I could take up too much time and space on this post.

Well, one more thing!  Is it just me or is the world getting crazier and crazier!  I’m talking about the language that people use.  Either I’ve been living in a bubble for years or all of the sudden the language is out of control.  First of all, movies…..wow!  I might see a movie listing and think, “that looks pretty good!”  So, I look it up on my favorite site, Plugged In.  They give you the main details of what to expect in different areas.  When it gets to language, they give an actual count of how many times they use certain words.  Example, one I looked up recently had 60 F words.  How does that work?  Can people not talk without using bad words?  Then they list the other words and it’s just as many.  Some I don’t even know what they are referring to.  Not just movies, but, television and I’m not talking about tv shows….I only watch Hallmarky type movies.  But…the news.  My gracious people.  Can you not use a sentence without curse words?  Is it that hard?  Politicians….I would expect better from you.  Don’t even get me started with the protestors, rioters, etc.  When you watch a clip of them tearing up whatever they can, it’s a constant beep, because they can’t speak without foul language.  Years ago, I watched a movie about a NASA astronaut.  It was based on a true story.  He used bad language and a few weeks later, I saw the real astronaut giving an interview for someone, can’t remember who.  Anyway, they asked him about the movie and if it were true to life.  He said, “Yes, pretty much, but, the main thing is, we didn’t talk like that.  The men I worked with had more character than that!”  That has stuck with me for years.  Too bad, people don’t value their character enough to not use bad language.  I’ll go ahead and say that I think it’s also sad that those that choose not to use bad language, but, yet they use words that are just as crude.  I don’t need to share what the words are as you probably know.  Okay….that’s my rant for now….next!

I must end this What’s on My Mind with something more positive.

I often think where I could be in my life if it weren’t for Christ!  How thankful and grateful I am that I put all of my faith in Him as a young teenager.  I never take that for granted.  I’ve seen what the other side has to offer and it isn’t pretty.  No hope, no peace, no purpose.  I now have hope, I have peace and I have a purpose. Most of all, I have a Savior who loves me.  For this I am thankful.

Now, back to my list of TO DO’S  for the day…..

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.” –Philippians 4:8

Needed! School Supplies!

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We visited a church yesterday and they announced that they had just filled 1,600 backpacks with school supplies for area children in need.  They thanked all those that gave $20.00 to fill a backpack.  They also thanked all the volunteers who filled each backpack with the needed supplies. It sounds like such a simple thing and we may even wonder if it really makes a difference.

I think it does make a huge difference in a child’s life…of all ages.  I have participated in helping to fill backpacks at my church and I’ve even organized events to do so.  I have dropped off supplies at collection spots at various stores that are doing a school supply drive.  One of my favorites was helping organize a back to school party for children that were living at a local home that ministered to moms and their children while going through a rough time in life.

Recently, I watched a young girl that I know show all of her fun school supplies that she had ready for her new school year on her youtube channel.  She was so cute in showing all the fun pens, markers, bags and spirals that her mom bought for her.  Everything was pink and sparkly.

It took me back to all the years when I was growing up.  I remember going to the local drugstore in Ft. Stockton, Texas with my mom and picked out my Big Chief tablet and jumbo pencil.  My very favorite were some erasers that you could put on top of your pencil that were in pretty colors and the shape of animals.  To top it off, I was able to get a red plaid satchel and a Casper the Friendly Ghost lunch box.  I was all set.

The next several years wouldn’t be so easy when it came to school supplies.  By the time I was in the 4th grade, I would have attended 7 different schools.  My dad was a surveyor and we moved a lot evidently.  For an extremely shy little girl, I hung in there.  After 4th grade, we settled in Texas and I graduated from the local high school.

Each year was extremely hard for my mom to purchase school supplies for my two brothers and myself.  I remember getting by with the absolute minimum of notebook paper, a pencil and if anything else was needed, my mom would do her best to get it on each pay day.  Oh, how I loved pens that were in different colors.  When the colored notebook paper came out, it was over. I dreamed of writing on colored paper.  (Maybe that explains why now in my craft room, I have every type and color of pen and markers possible.)

After classes started it seemed that a teacher would always tell the class of something we needed, such as a folder, or a special spiral notebook.  I dreaded telling my mom what I needed as it caused more stress on our finances.  I remember one time after I told her I needed a spiral, she said, “Do they think money grows on trees!”  We get tickled now thinking about those days, but at the time, it wasn’t so funny.  My mom was a single mom taking care of three kids on her own without any type of child support.  She is an amazing mom, by the way.

A really bad time was in Jr. High.  I had to have gym clothes and shoes for P.E.  After a few months of going to gym class and going to the “locked cage” to get my gym clothes/shoes for the day, I noticed my shoes were missing from my basket.  I asked the girls that were working in the cage area if they had seen my shoes….of course, the answer was “no.”  I went to the coach and told her that my shoes were missing.  She told me to wear my socks and get some new shoes as soon as possible.  When I told my mom what happened and that I needed new shoes, well….you can imagine.  My mom wouldn’t get paid for another two weeks, so I went for two weeks wearing socks in gym class.  Not good!  The P.E. teacher came to me and said, “do not come back to class without any shoes.”  Fortunately, my mom got paid just in time and we went down to the local Gibsons and purchased me some new shoes for gym class.

All that to say, I hope you will consider helping kiddos out this year with some school supplies, clothes, gym shoes, whatever you think someone would need.  You never know what kids are going through and the struggles that a parent may be having with their finances.

Today, there are so many churches that are working to supply children with supplies.  Stores set up barrels for people to donate whatever they can in the way of supplies.

Something else to think about.  Instead of waiting for a ministry to do a call for supplies, it’s possible that you know of someone in your extended family, in your neighborhood, work  or church that you can gift them with something special for school or a certain need they have.

We aren’t even talking about clothes!  I could do another entire post on school clothes!

And, one favor from me.  When you do give a child/teen the gift of supplies for school, do it discreetly and with lot’s of love.  Don’t do it for the world to see, do it just for them.

Oh, and if it’s a little shy girl, give her something oh, so cute and sparkly with a note telling her that she is going to make it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

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I celebrated my 59th birthday in May.  It’s been a fast two months as I meant to write this post on my birthday.  Better late than never, right?

This birthday was a bit tough for me.  59 seems so…whats the word? The end of an era?  I’m not sure…I just know that I did my best to “Embrace 58” and 59….well….I’m struggling.

Since I was the only one at my pity party, I thought I better straighten myself up and learn to “Embrace 59.”  That doesn’t sound as catchy as the 58, but, I couldn’t think of anything else.  If you have a catchy phrase for 59, send it on.

Why the pity party, Beverly?

*Thanks for asking; I sort of enjoyed the 50’s.  I feel like I made it through:

*Three decades of being a young wife, older wife?  and then a mom of two cutie pies.

*Serving in every imaginable area of church life while raising my kids and trying to be the best wife I could possibly be. (I’m still working on it, by the way.)

*Survived a season of homeschooling our kiddos.  (loved that season!)

*Served as a Pastor’s wife for almost 20 years.

*Watched God bless my husband and brother as they ventured into business together.

*Dealing with the basic hurts of life and trusting that the joys of life will overcome deep, deep wounds of words and actions from people that only want to destroy.

*Almost 4 decades of walking with my Savior and learning everything I can about the Christian life.

*Loved watching both of our children marry their soulmates.

*Welcomed the birth of 5 grandchildren that are absolutely adorable!

*Figuring out the “empty nest” world….I might have it figured out, not sure.

*Seeking the Lord daily in what a now 59 year old is to do with her life for the next…. ? years.

I have been weeding out my books and donating the ones I’ve read and don’t want to keep anymore and I came across a book that I purchased a few years ago.  It’s called,  “Fabulous After 50.” (by Shirley W. Mitchell.)  I figured I better get it read real quick and so I spent a few hours and finished it.  I have to admit, I was inspired, but, I really should have read it when I bought it several years ago.  Hello!?  But, the good news is, the author wrote another one called “Sensational After 60.”  I better get that one read as soon as possible.  I only have 10 months left of being 59.

My goal is to life this last year of my 50’s to the fullest.  So far, it’s been a productive few months.  

*I’ll be sharing more about how I plan to live these next few months of my 50’s in my upcoming posts!

I hope you will follow along with me as I blog about my last year in the 50’s.  I do hope it inspires you or causes you to think about things you haven’t thought of before and most of all I do hope that somehow, someway, I can inspire you to… Love Life While Striving to Have a Heart Like His.

 

A Breath of Fresh Air

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Is anyone a wee bit discouraged by what we are seeing in our culture?  Maybe it’s just me, I’m not sure, but there is some crazy stuff going on.  Things such as:

*Language that would curl your toes (as my mom would say)

*Clothing on young ladies and their mamas that leaves nothing to the imagination, if you know what I mean.

*Clothing on young men and their dad’s that make you wander if there is any hope for our future.

*Movies that portray anything but good.

*Television programs that you wouldn’t dare leave on while children are in the house or mixed company.

*Music that have lyrics talking about things that are anything but good in language and topic.

*Dance moves that leave nothing to the imagination. (yes, I got caught up in Dancing With The Stars and would have to fast forward through most of it due to the suggestive portrayals of….you can only imagine)

*Politics has become out of control in language, actions, etc. etc.

*Social Media has become a place for people to use as a sounding board for hatred in their comments. (I learned not to ever read comments in the comment section of articles)

*When at some churches, you have to wonder if you are at a night club or church?  (Not that I’ve been in a nightclub; well, when I was a young teen, my cousin snuck me in one.  That was the first and only time.  Oh wait, when on a cruise one time, I went into one of those lounges to listen to a band, does that count? See, I know what I’m talking about.)

*Alcohol abuse is on the rise.  I don’t know if it’s just me, but, I have never seen so much alcohol in every form and fashion to reach those that normally probably wouldn’t drink.  I’ve noticed at events it is to be looked on as very “Chic.”  I was recently at a ladies event and they actually had a cash bar.  Seeing young moms sipping on a can of beer while listening to the speaker was a bit strange to me.  That may mean nothing to you, but, for me and where I have come from, it’s a bit bothersome.

*Drug use is out of control; over the counter and illegal.  The death toll of drug and alcohol deaths per year is insane!  I might mention even the destruction of people and their families due to drugs and alcohol.  The legalization of marijuana leaves me speechless.

*Obesity is rampant.  Ouch, my toe just got stepped on by my own self!  It is amazing to see how many people are out of shape and simply don’t care.  (Okay, okay…..I’m working on it!)

*Human Trafficking!  I’m speechless that this even goes on in our own country.  In our own back yard!

*Family Violence.  We have no idea what anyone is going through… maybe even next door to us.

*Suicide.  It’s heartbreaking.

*Just pure mean and rude people.  In and out of the church.  They are everywhere.  They will find you, trust me.

Okay, we will stop right there….I can’t take much more.  I’m a bit concerned about our world, our country, our state, our county, our city, our church, our homes.  It’s not pretty, is it?

Ummm….Beverly, why did you title this article, A Breath of Fresh Air?

I’m so glad you asked!

Don’t you think it’s about time that we as  Women of God, should be a breath of fresh air?  I write mostly for women but,  I know there are some guys out there reading this, so it’s a question for you, too.

How can I be a breath of fresh air?

It’s simple!

Be different than the world!  Don’t accept what the world is handing you.  Yes, we live in this world, but, be better than what you see as the normal.

A couple of ways could be…..

*Clean up your language.  No, it’s not cute, cool or funny to use foul language.  Of any kind.  Carry on a conversation without using bad language.  Yes, even the little slang words that are popular now.  I have to share this.  A couple of years ago, I was at a conference.  The speaker was doing her thing and her point was, “Be a BadA** for Jesus.”  Yep.  Lot’s of giggles and oh, she felt mighty hip I’m sure.  But, there were plenty of ladies that were offended.  She didn’t quiet look the same to me after that message and I wasn’t that interested in hearing how to be a godly woman after her description of how to do that.  “Oh, Beverly, you are such a prude.”  “Nah, I’m just a girl who was saved out of a life that heard much worse than that on a regular basis.  Jesus cleaned my mouth up and he cleaned out my mind.  I don’t want anymore of that.  Thanks, anyway.”

*Dress like you are somebody special to the King of Kings, because you are!  When I was a young teen, I wore short shorts and I wore short dresses.  I didn’t think anything of it.  I remember my shorts were so short, my “cheeks” showed on most of my shorts.  But, that was normal for the world I was in.  When I put my faith in Christ, my world changed.  Especially, the way I dressed.  No one ever said to me, “Beverly!  Get you some pants on girl, and lower those hems!”  Nope, it was something inside of me that was different.  I wanted to dress modestly.  I was a new Beverly; in my dress, my words, my thoughts, my everything.  Even my dreams for my life.

I think you get my point and I hope you see my heart.  I could go on and on and I probably will be writing on a few of the other points soon, as I have a heavy burden for what our kiddos are facing on a daily basis.

Let’s be a breath of fresh air!

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A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Get Ready for Church a Day Early

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It’s Saturday night!  Are you ready for church?

Are Sunday mornings hectic and everyone is on edge?  Is it hard to get everyone on the same page and in the car at the same time?

Here are a few tips that might help:

*Decide what you will wear on Saturday night for church the next morning.  Set everything out in one place for yourself and other family members.  If you have little ones, this would be a great time to work together without the stress of having to hurry.

*Take care of baths and hair washing the night before instead of the next morning.

*Put all items by the door that each family member will need for church; Bible, diaper bag, lesson plans, etc.

*Make plans for lunch.  You may want to prepare as much of the meal as possible so you can put in crock pot or oven before you leave for church the next morning.

*Make sure your car has gas so you don’t have to worry about it on the way to church.

*If you are going out to lunch, set your plans so everyone won’t have to wonder what they are doing for lunch as soon as church is over.

*Set alarm clocks early enough to enjoy your morning while preparing to head out the door for church.

*Don’t forget about breakfast….you can set your table at night before bed and prepare as much as possible for whatever you are serving for breakfast.

*Get to bed at a decent hour so everyone will be well rested for a great day of worship the next morning.

*It’s Sunday morning….everything is going smoothly…..it’s a peaceful and happy morning….you have time to pray together as a family for the services.

*As you are all in the car together driving to church, it is a pleasant and sweet time.  Everyone is talking sweetly to one another and then you all break out in four part harmony in your favorite song.  Okay, maybe that is not going to happen…..but…it could, you never know.

All that to say, make your Sunday morning as peaceful and pleasant as possible.  What a treat to have everyone working together to get out the door in time for church. Your kids will have good memories of their growing up years of going to church as a family.

It’s work, but so worth it.

JUST in case you think that I had this down perfect when my kiddos were at home…..no worries….I had many mornings that were a total nightmare.  We wore fortunate to get to church at all some mornings….but, for the most part, I worked very hard at making our mornings pleasant most of the time.  For many years, my husband had to be at church a few hours before we did, so I had to make sure things were running smoothly.  For several years we had one car…now that was interesting.  My husband would go to the church early and get everything ready for the services and then come and get us.  I had to have my stuff together because you don’t want to make the pastor late, do you? We would usually pick up someone on the way to church that needed a ride.   I have some pretty crazy stories of just trying to get to church on time.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days and have a second chance.  That’s why I’m sharing what I know and what I’ve learned over the years.  Life is short, your children will be grown before you know it and……

you will still be trying to figure out how to get to church on time.

Do you have a Sunday morning routine that is working?

 

 

 

How To Love Going To Church – It Starts In The Parking Lot

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Welcome back to “Beverly’s Church Tips – How To Love Going To Church.”

How did last week go?  Was it easy to reach out and speak to everyone around you?

Maybe you were the one that people reached out to first.  Sometimes, we could be going through something and we just want to walk in and sit down and wait for the service to start and then when the people around us are friendly and show that they care and are interested in you….well, it can change your whole day, can’t it?

If you missed last week’s post, you can read about it by clicking here.

It all starts in the parking lot…..

Don’t you love it when you are visiting a church and they have special parking for visitors?  Especially, when you are running a little bit late and you have no idea where to go.

We recently visited a church and it was a huge church.  As we drove down the long road to the turn in, a man was standing there waving at us and showing us where to go.  Another young man was holding a sign that said “We are glad you are here!” He also had a big smile on his face.  Now that’s a way to make someone feel welcome, isn’t it?

Here are some thoughts to think about.

*If you are walking to the building after getting out of your car and you pass the visitor parking lot and see someone that is obviously a visitor, speak to them.  If it looks like they are confused and have no idea where to go, ask if you can help them.

*Open doors for people.

*If you are running late, you are late, no since in speeding and almost running over people and acting bothered that someone may be in your way.

*Be courteous and let people out of their spots and onto the road.

*Long story short….be just as friendly in the parking lot as you are in the church building.  It’s possible that there is someone that is going to church for the first time and it is really hard for them to even get out of the car and you could be the one that puts all of their nervousness at ease.

Since I shared a personal story last week, I’ll have to share another one with you.  Trust me, I have many stories…..some good, some funny and some not so good.  This one is funny now, but at the time…it wasn’t.

My husband had to be at church much earlier than I, one Sunday morning.  He had deacon duties this particular morning.  I came in time for Sunday School and had also brought a casserole for a luncheon that was taking place later.  I was wearing a white crocheted skirt.  I had the dish, my purse and Bible and was balancing everything the best I could.  I walked up a set of steps to the door.  As I was going up the steps, my heel got caught in my skirt.  I know!!!  I felt my skirt going down and so I stooped down on the steps.  As I was going down, I caught the eye of a “gentleman” standing on the other side of the solid glass doors.  He watched me go down.  Oh, you think I’m going to say, he came to my rescue and helped me up, right?  Nope, he stood there and turned his back to me.  No worries, I managed.  I got my heel out of my crocheted skirt and OPENED the glass door while juggling the purse, Bible and casserole dish. He scurried off as I was opening the door.  I was pretty bugged as I walked down the hall, but then, I turned it around and I thanked the Lord for something.

I said…

“Lord, thank you that I know without a doubt that my husband, my son and my son-in-law would have helped anyone… man, woman or child that was going down…..oh, and I also know they would have opened the door even if they didn’t have a thing in their hand.”

I’m truly grateful for that!

See, it wasn’t funny at the time….but, I can actually laugh now.  One more thing, I didn’t ever wear that skirt again.

Have a Great Day at Church!

How To Love Going To Church

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I know what you are thinking!

“Beverly, what makes you think that I need to read a “how to” about church?”

I thought the same thing.  It’s been going over in my mind about wanting to write on this subject and the only way I can get it off of my mind is to….just do it.  I do pray about what I write about and many times I feel like I’m getting a nudge to write on a particular topic.  This is one of those, so I hope you stick with me.  Each Sunday morning in your inbox, you will find a little note from me on  something that I hope will make your church going experience better.  We may even talk about something you’ve never thought of before.  I know, next question….

“Beverly, what makes you think you would have any knowledge of what my church experience should be?”

I understand why you would think that.  Here is my resume of my “church life.”

As a young girl I maybe went to church with my grandparents a couple of times.  I have no recollection of any of the teaching other than I did make my mom an ash tray out of clay for Mother’s Day and I made a really cute card for Easter with crushed egg shells on it with a picture of Jesus.  I had no idea who Jesus was; I was just told to glue the picture on the card.

A few years later while in music class in the 4th grade we were all standing around the piano and the music teacher asked everyone if they had gone to church the past Sunday.  When she got to me, I shook my head “no.”  She then said shook her head in dismay and went to the next person.  I remember feeling really embarrassed and ashamed.  But, I soon forgot about it and carried on with life.

A few years later I listened to a preacher on television and I slipped into my room and knelt by my bed and asked Jesus into my life.  I have written about my testimony a few times and if you are new to my blog, you can click here to read about how I began my walk with Christ.

My family joined a church and we were there for every service, conference and event.  Over the years we served in so many different areas of the church and loved every minute of it.  We grew in our walk with Christ and never looked back.

A few years later….I was married and my husband and I headed off to Seminary.  He had felt a call on his life to preach the gospel full time.  I had also surrendered my life to full time service as a teen. We left the only church I knew and headed out to change the world.  My eyes were opened to the ways of different churches.  We will talk about that later, but, for now and after being a member of and serving in several churches and now as we travel and visit many different churches, I’ve noticed a few things that I think would only make us stronger in our church life.  I’m sure you have more questions, so feel free to email me or leave a comment.  I always try to answer each one that I receive.  You may be struggling in an area of your church life and I would love to visit with you about it.  Some of you may have some things to share that have helped you in finding and serving in a church.  I would love to hear about that, too.

Enough of my resume….let’s get started!

The first time I attended church as a teen with my mom and two brothers, we were amazed at the friendliness of this church.  I had never had so many people tell me they were glad to see me.  Me? I was hugged, had my hand shaken and people had a genuine interest in who I was.  I had never seen so many smiles in my life!  We were attending the church during a conference they were having and a singing ensemble was leading the music.  They were young people from a Christian University.  They smiled while they sang and acted as if they really loved being there.  I never will forget the song they sang that has stuck in my head for now… 44 years.

“I found happiness, I found peace of mind, I found the joy of living perfect love sublime, I found real contentment happy living in accord, I found happiness all the time, wonderful peace of mind, since I met the Lord.”

I watched my mom at church.  To me, she was the sweetest and friendliest person I had ever seen.  She loved people and it showed.  She was one of those that knew everyone and everyone knew her.  She never ever said a bad thing about anyone when we were home.  She worked all week and then visited bus kids all day on Saturday and then we attended church Sunday morning and Sunday evening. Recently we ran into a man who was a firefighter here in town.  He recognized my mom as the lady that worked on the bus that he rode to church on.  You could tell he had fond memories of her as she loved and cared for him and his two little sisters.  Church became our life.  And….we loved it!

When you attend church, try the following:

*Smile at people.

*Look at people in the eye.

*Shake hands like you mean it.

*Before you find your spot to sit, speak to as many people as you can.  If you have to walk across the building to speak, do it.

*Don’t walk in, sit down, fold arms and stare straight ahead until the service begins.

*When you do find your spot, be aware of everyone sitting around you.  Speak to them.  Tell them you are glad they are there.  Compliment something about them.  If they don’t respond back, no worries, do your best to be kind and make them feel welcome.  If you are in a large church, you may not know who the visitor is or who has been going there a hundred years, treat everyone the same.

*Change where you sit on a regular basis.  Don’t stay in the same spot for years and wonder why you don’t know everyone at church.  Get to know people on the other side of the building, too.  Or the balcony.

*IF you are one of those that has “YOUR SPOT” and someone is sitting there when you arrive, DO NOT tell them they are in your pew or chair.  Yes, I was told more than once that I was sitting in their spot and to please move. The first time, I thought it was a joke, until I realized it wasn’t.  YES, there are rude people everywhere, even in church.  If that happens to you, you smile and say, “I’m sorry” and move on.

*Make it a habit to invite someone to your home after church for lunch or dinner or maybe just dessert.  Do you go out to eat?  Then invite them to go with you.  Ask the Lord to show you who you should ask, I have a feeling you will know right away.

*When you are sitting and someone walks up to talk to you, stand up.  This is one that I’ve had to work on.  If you are in a really friendly church, you might want to keep standing.  Yes, I know that if you can’t stand, that isn’t a problem.  Everyone understands.  If you are healthy and can, stand to talk to whoever has taken their time to come and speak to you.

*When my kids were growing up, I taught them that when someone speaks to you, you speak back and continue the conversation  I called it, bouncing the ball back.  Don’t just take the ball and leave, carry on the conversation.

*Don’t get locked in on a deep serious conversation when there are hundreds or thousands of people around you.  You may be shutting someone out that is nearby.  Keep conversations light.  If you are needing to solve the worlds problems, get together during the week or after church.

*Turn your cell phone off and put your phone away.

*Find someone that you want to get to know better or someone that you think needs encouragement and invite them to lunch that week.  You may just make a new friend.

*If being friendly is not easy for you, work on it.  Ask the Lord to help you be comfortable at being friendly.  A smile is easy to do.  Sometimes that is all people need.

*We have no idea what anyone has been through before they got to church.   You be the one that reaches out and gives that first smile.  No smile back?  Then you just found you someone that you  need to begin praying for and begin to reach out to them.

I will share this one little story with you.

A few years ago, we were in a church that my husband was the Minister of Education.  He was always busy before and after church and had to sit on the platform during the service.  I had taken my two children to their classes and went to sit down in the service.  I must have been having an off day.    I just needed a good morning or a smile.  I sat down behind a middle aged couple that were there every time the doors opened.  I reached up and patted the ladies arm and told them good morning.  This particular lady barely turned her head and did one of those half smiles and turned back around.  I took it personal.  I was feeling very lonely, tired and inadequate as a pastor’s wife.  Needless to say, the tears welled up in my eyes and I had to leave.  I went to the ladies room, got myself together and went back in and sat on the other side of the building. I couldn’t wait for that service to get over and get home.  Do you think that is the only time that has happened?  Sadly, no.  People are people everywhere you go.  I just don’t want to be one of those kind of people.  I’ll say it again, we do not know what someone is going through.  We can’t risk being rude to anyone at anytime or anyplace.

Just be friendly…….smile…….care……..reach out!

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Do You Send Notes of Encouragement?

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I have been cleaning out some files and getting rid of things like crazy lately.  I came across a file that I had stuffed notes and letters in while serving in women’s ministry for several years.  I just couldn’t part with them.  So many were so kind and so thoughtful, I just couldn’t toss them.  I sat down today and read through them.  I remember reading many of these when I received them and they touched me.  But, today, my heart was extremely tender and I wept as I went through them and even laughed with some of the funny comments.  I will cherish each one of these notes forever. Since I couldn’t throw them away, I made a notebook and punched holes in the letters and then put all the note cards in page protectors. While reading through these, my heart was happy to hear about how the Lord had made some amazing changes in peoples lives and how they were striving to live a life for Christ.  I believe God was glorified in so many ways during this ministry.

As I put my notebook up on the shelf, I couldn’t help but think how important it is that we lift one another up with kind words and notes of encouragement.

In our day of social media and busy, busy, busy, I would like to challenge us to take the time to lift someone up.

We all have different personalities and love languages.  Some people may even call them “quirks.”  We all respond in different ways to things according to our personalities.  I have a feeling though, that most people love having a note of thanks or just simply, “I’m thinking of you, today.”

One of my love languages is affirmation.  I LOVE affirming words.  I’m not sure where it all came from, but, if I go without hearing any type of affirmation in what I’m doing or even how I look, I will begin to feel like a total failure.  I know….what can I say?   I always remind myself that what I do is for Christ and I shouldn’t need affirmation as long as I’m living my life as Christ would have me to.  But, let me tell you, if I get a note, a call or even told in person that I’m doing a good job, I’m ready to set the world on fire.  I’m ready to do more.  There you go, now you know one of my weaknesses.  I might need to hear that my weakness is okay from someone. (wink, wink)

Okay, back to my challenge…

NOTECARDS:

Purchase or make some note cards and put them close by so you can grab at a moments notice.  Keep stamps handy.  I have a basket full of note cards.  I’m addicted to cute note cards.  Whenever I see a cute set of notecards at the store, I grab them.  You can find all prices.  Find some that look like you.  So when people open up that card, they see you as they read your words.  I’ve had to make a habit of also picking up more masculine cards.  When I’ve wanted to send a thank you to my son, son-in-law and grandsons, I’ve had to wade through all the hearts, flowers and glitter.  So you might want to have something that would appeal to a guy. *Emails and texts are great, too.  But, you just can’t beat a handwritten card sometimes.

HEARTFELT WORDS:

Your words can change someones day.  You never ever know what someone is going through.  Your note doesn’t have to be long and drawn out.  Get straight to the point and tell them why you thought of them and what it is that you admire about them that day.  Or maybe their face popped up in your mind and you just wanted to let them know that you are thinking of them.  If they have made a difference in your life, tell them exactly what it was that helped you.  The important thing is to be real and honest with your words.

MAKE IT A HABIT:

Make a habit of being thankful.  When you have a thankful heart, you want to share it.  As soon as someone is on your heart, sit down and write out a quick note.  If you are somewhere and you can’t do that, then, put it on your to do list.  Trust me, you will forget if you don’t and it will be easy to say, “Oh well, I’ll do something later.”  It’s possible you might regret not ever letting someone know how you feel about them.

GO TO THE MAILBOX OR HIT SEND:

Only procrastinators will understand this tip.

There you go!  How easy is that?  A simple note will make someone’s day, I can almost promise.

Oh, one last tip….

SAVE YOUR NOTES THAT YOU RECEIVE:

You will be glad that you saved all those kind notes and letters someday.  File them neatly in a system that works for you.  When you are having one of those days where you think, “What have I done with my life and did I even make a difference anywhere?”…..you will be glad you held on to the kind and encouraging notes from friends and family…..and even strangers. *if you happen to get any hateful notes….just throw them away.  Don’t let someones hatefulness ruin your day….that is what it was intended for….to make you feel defeated and to ruin your day.  Those that really love you and care about you, would never send you a hateful note or letter.  So, since they don’t care anything about you, why let it bother you?

Okay…I just had a thought!  What if you don’t ever receive any kind notes or letters?  #1 – You may need a new set of friends #2 – check up to see if you are encouraging others with your words of kindness and deeds. #3 – It’s never too late to start!  You can do it!