Fall 2021 Beauty Series – Self Care

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If you love beauty products and trying new things, you have probably had fun in finding your perfect nail color, hair products, skin care and of course the even more fun part….make up! I understand some people would rather not think about any of that….you just do your best and get by with what you have to. That’s what makes our world go around….we are all different, we have our own likes and dislikes. I’m on the boat that loves it all! If I’m going to do something, I might as well enjoy it and have some fun with it.

I felt I couldn’t talk about beauty tips if I didn’t hit on the body image area…..Okay…this is where I don’t have so much fun. So, as you read this, keep in mind that I’m probably talking to myself. So here we go….I do pray that something I share is what you are needing to hear for encouragement or affirmation.

On the subject of basic health. If you have followed my writings for long, you know that I had a deep fear of doctors most of my life. I will say this, when I had my two babies, which everyone is always shocked that I actually went through that….I had the best OBGYN ever! I still remember him and his nurse. I had the best nurses at the hospital. Matter of fact, the same nurses were there when I had my second baby. Yes…they remembered me! Not sure if thats a good thing or not. They were the best. My main nurse had a name tag that is implanted in my mind. Ann Fear! Yes….I’m not kidding. The only time I went to the doctor before that was when I had to as a child. We just didn’t go to the doctor for much. When I was about 6 years old and very sick with I guess a flu bug and a dr. came to the house and gave me a shot. My brother had a cowboy suit on with his toy cowboy gun and told the doctor to leave his sister alone as I was basically running from him. I bet that was a wild visit for that doctor.

A dentist…oh my! I won’t share much…but, huge fear! As a child I had a really bad experience with a really mean dentist. Let’s just say my tooth he pulled flew across the room. That’s all I’ll share on that one. But, we had a neighbor who was a dentist when the kids were young. I went to him and he was the most gentle and kind dentist ever.

After my last baby was born, I went for a check up. Let’s just say I was horrified at the questions this doctor asked me. I was embarrassed, I never wanted to go for another check up again. I didn’t.

Last year opened up a new world for me. I went through several months of anxiety issues. I went to a doctor who is the husband of a dear friend of mine. He was so kind, so gentle and very understanding. Yes, he was shocked I actually went to a doctor. This began a few months of going to a gynecologist, dentist and even a natural health doctor. Yes, I even had a short stay in the hospital to have a test done. I have to say this…..I never felt so cared for and treated so kindly than I have at all of these various doctors and hospital. I know without a doubt the Lord blessed me in a great and mighty way. You just have no idea, the fear that had built up in me for doctors. You also have no idea, the amazing way that I felt total peace with every doctor and nurse I had to see last year. I’ve even been back for check ups. Yes, I break out in a sweat before I go, but, I almost skip out of their offices due to the peace and assurance I have felt. I know who goes before me. I can’t imagine not having that peace.

So here I am, encouraging you to take care of what needs to be taken care of. Even if it’s just a check up. You can do it. If you need encouragement, I’m here. If I could go with you, I would. Who would ever believe that Beverly would encourage someone to go to the doctor. I do have a long way to go in the fear area, but, I’m so much better, trust me. Deep down, I pray I never have to go back, but, I know check ups are important. Let’s don’t talk needles just yet, though.

Since this is October, we are seeing all the prompts to go have a mammogram, right? Lot’s of talk about breast cancer which will put the fear in to you for a month or so. I was encouraged by my natural doctor and friend to do Thermography instead of a mammogram. Yes, it was way out of my box and I just had to back my ears (as my mom always says) and do it. Yes, it’s embarrassing…..but, the peace of mind is worth it. Click here for more info on the office I went to for this. I can’t say enough good things about them! I follow their social media as well for much information and encouragement in the area of health.

That’s my crazy world on the doctor issue. Let’s move on as I’m now sweating just thinking about it all!

Now we come to diet and exercise. Yep, my other area of struggle. Okay, okay! I hate to exercise! I don’t like veggies or anything that looks strange. Yes…..I just got off the elliptical a few minutes ago and did some floor exercises, I try to walk each night a couple of miles and I try to eat healthy. But, put a croissant in front of me or a piece of chocolate cake and it’s all over! I am an emotional eater. I eat when I’m sad….I eat when I’m happy…..I eat when I’m bored. Breads, chips and mexican food are my favorite. I know! It’s a struggle. So in order to lose some weight, I have to say no to all of that and how hard it is. The I read after someone who says, “I just cut back a little and lost 50 pounds!” That hasn’t worked for me either. or….the weight loss groups…..I’ll lose, but the second I go back to eating normal….it comes back as fast as it left. The real story is, I have to make a lifestyle change. This is where it gets tricky…..I love my life….I’m happy…..so….making a “lifestyle change” is doubly hard. Again….I’m working on it. If it works, you will be the first to know. I’ll keep you posted. I’m not sharing my plan as I may change it a hundred times before something works for me. I never really had a weight issue until after my last baby was born! It’s all his fault. I’m laughing, it’s a joke. To have that little cute red headed boy, I’d gladly gain it all back again. Oh, wait…..maybe that’s already happened before….let’s move on.

Here is what I think it all boils down to. We can look great on the outside, but if we don’t feel good on the inside it will eventually show. We want to feel good on the inside so we can live long happy full filled lives. Don’t you think? How do we do that?

We make sure we are in good health. If not, we get it fixed. (yes, I’m a black or white person)

We exercise and take care of our bodies. We stay in good shape so as we age we can keep living that long happy fulfilled life.

We eat right. Our bodies need various things, so we make sure we eat properly.

We take vitamins and various supplements that make us stronger.

We think positive good thoughts. We fill our mind with good things so we have a good outlook on life.

Remember how I said to make yourself a research project. Do that today and figure out what you need to do to take care of the body God gave you. Study to learn some new things about health, be open to think outside of the box a little bit in the area of natural health. There is so much information; stay on track for what you need to do to live that happy healthy fulfilled life! Even with various ailments, you can still be positive and still be happy, healthy and fulfilled! Let’s do it!

Disclaimer*I’m not a doctor. Nor, could I never be one…I’d faint first! Take care of your body, it’s all you have. Pray, do serious research and talk to a doctor that you trust if you need to.

Did you miss previous posts in this series? Here are the links:

Nail Care

Hair Care

Skin Care

Don’t miss the next post….be sure to subscribe. The box to subscribe is on the right side of this post. If you have any issues feel free to contact me. Hope to see you soon!

We Can Win The War of Fear

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In my last post, I shared “My Story” of dealing with the virus of 2020/2021. (Click here if you need to read and catch up.) I do know that 2021 is not over and only the Lord knows what is in store for each and every one of us during this crazy upside down time of life. I told you in my last post that I would share my thoughts on how to win the war of fear that is involved with the “pandemic.” You do know that I’m not a medical doctor, right? Oh, I’m not a counselor either. I’m just a regular person who got the virus. I can’t even tell you how fearful of this virus I was. I don’t now how to describe it to share with you how scared I was. The crazy thing about it is…I didn’t know I was as scared as I turned out to be. I thought I had it all together. I had my sprays, my disinfectant wipes, I stayed home, I ordered groceries online, I made my husband change clothes in the garage when he came in from work…….yes, I did that. Did you not do that? I thought everyone was doing that and I thought it was perfectly normal. I’ve come to find out, not so much. I was consumed with the news in trying to hear all the latest and what we were supposed to do and not do, until, I realized how political and not so trustworthy the main stream media was. I was a mess and I crashed hard.

I have thought long and hard how I could have handled things differently. We know now that I had other issues going on from the past that I hadn’t dealt with so I had all that to deal with at the same time so it made my crash doubly bad. Someone told me it was the “Perfect Storm” for me and why I went down hard.

Back to my thinking how I would have handled it differently if I would have known what I know now.

Are you ready for it?

Putting all my trust in my Savior for everything and anything that was to come my way.

I know! Sounds so simple doesn’t it.

See, I had been doing that since I was 14 years old. The day I put my faith and trust in Jesus, I depended on Him for everything. I read the scriptures on fear, faith and trust. I tried to memorize them. I wrote them down and put them places I could see constantly. So why did I not remember to trust when all the craziness in our country and world broke lose? I know why, but, that is for another post soon.

I lost my way. I lost my self worth and my confidence in who I was as a child of God. I was a perfect set up for someone who was about to go down hard. Each day got worse and worse. I wasn’t listening to my Savior, I was listening to the enemy. I was scared. I couldn’t catch my breath enough to calm down and slap myself into reality.

Thankfully, I finally got back up and I fought like crazy to get back to where I should be. I had the help of a couple of people and then some friends who prayed for me and encouraged me each and every day! It took everything I had in me to get there. Guess who was waiting for me the entire time? My Savior! He picked me up, brushed me off and said “You are gong to be okay!”

I was sailing along, working everyday to get my mind back to where it should be and then BAM! The virus! I struggled and thought, “Why? I can’t do this! The thing I feared the most and I was doing so good and now I have it? Is this it? Am I going to go through the horrible things I’ve heard about? I don’t want to!”

So, I’m going to make a little list of some things that I did and what I wish I would have done to win the war on fear of the virus!

*Empty yourself before the Lord, give Him your fears, your anxiousness and your questions.

*Be still and quiet. Listen for His voice. Go to your Bible and go to those scriptures that speak on fear and comfort.

*Turn off the news for awhile. Be very selective in what you listen to. Fill your mind with good and happy things. Stay busy with things you love to do.

*Take care of your health. Eat as healthy as possible. Limit sugar! Begin a good regimen of vitamins. I was told to take, Vitamin C, D, Zinc and a Pro-Biotic. I also take a multi and a few other things for immunity building. I would talk to an expert or do some serious research and get a plan together.

*I was also told to take a small dose of aspirin each day. That is to prevent blood clotting which seems to be a serious issue going on.

*While I was sick, I did not want to get pneumonia. It seems you hear of that a lot. So, I made sure I stretched everyday as much as possible and walked. I moved my arms continuously. I tried hard not to lay in bed forever which was a hard one. I didn’t feel like doing anything. My husband also tapped like karate chops on my back each day to loosen up anything that might go wrong in the lungs.

*Calm yourself with deep breathing. When resting, I put my left hand on my tummy and my right hand on my heart and I took a deep slow breath through my nose with mouth closed and let my tummy fill with air to the count of 6 or 8, then I held it for about 4 counts and blew slowly out of my mouth to the count of 6 or 8. I would do this several times until I felt calm and could get my breath.

*The mind is a powerful thing. The breathing exercises helped me to calm down and focus on good things. Someone told me they would breathe in the goodness of God and blow out the fear. You don’t want to lose control of your thoughts and let fear win. You do whatever it takes.

*In order to go to battle, we must be strong spiritually, mentally and physically. That physically part is a hard one for me. Exercise is not my favorite thing to do. But, we need to be fit. Whatever it takes to get there, we must do. Any habits that hinder our health, we need to correct it.

*Scripture is important to me. I have a card case with scriptures on trusting God and not having fear. I had them by my side and read them over and over. When I had a really hard time, I actually held the scripture card and claimed it for myself. Bible study will keep you grounded and close to our Heavenly Father.

*Journaling is huge for me. I now have my journals during that season and it is very interesting to read over and see how the Lord comforted me and the answer to prayers. Not only that, just to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head is very good for me.

*Be prepared for the worst. Have a plan for treatment if you get sick. Remember I’m not a doctor, but, for me, I decided to get a protocol that many doctors are using to treat the virus. I follow and read after a group and they had a listing of doctors that you could do a teleconference with and they would prescribe a protocol for you to take if you need to. We have our protocol and we have it in a bag just in case anything were to happen. It’s a comfort to have a plan and to know what symptoms are before they ever happen. *Its almost like we were just sitting ducks, didn’t know what to expect, where to go, what to do, etc. We were just told to wear a mask, don’t go anywhere, don’t get around any one and if you get sick, chances are you are done for. I believe that we were handed a bundle of fear and told to take it and don’t ask questions. I also believe that is wrong. We are to be responsible for ourselves and our family, do research and be prepared for even the worst so you know what to expect. The unknown is what causes fear. We now know so much more and we also have the choice to listen to others besides the political figures and main stream media who obviously have an agenda. We also should do our own research and be wise in who we listen to.

*Then it gets back to the trust again. It’s a choice. Faith or Fear. They are two separate roads….we have to pick one. You can’t have both; they just don’t work together. The good thing is, God knows our fears and He understands. He wants us to be free from fear. Let Him take it from you. But, you have to give it to Him.

I hope that helps a little. Feel free to leave a comment or email any questions or thoughts. I only know what I know and I can steer you to someone much smarter than me if possible.

Can I pray with you?

Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much for loving us like you do! How thankful I am that I put my faith in you as a young teen. I thank you for each person reading the blog today and oh, how I pray that they know you personally! You know who each one is and I ask that you put your arms of comfort around them, let them know how much you love and care for them.

Lord, we are a fearful people when we don’t put our trust in you. Forgive us for putting our trust in those that don’t have our best interest. We trust you and we are giving you our fears and our anxiousness. We don’t understand all that is going on, but, you do! You know exactly how this is all going to end and we put our hand in yours and we know you will guide and protect us.

Lord, whatever you have in store for each of us, may we humbly and graciously accept it as your will. I pray for a peace that only you can give. I pray for joy that only you can give. We don’t understand all that is going on in our country and in our world, but, we want to walk through it with peace and joy.

We ask for wisdom and discernment to handle all the many voices we hear today and to understand what is right and what is wrong. Help us, Lord!

I ask for healing for those that are reading the blog today that are suffering either with the virus or with that awful thing called fear! Some of us have loved ones that are going through it and we are asking for a miraculous healing for each and everyone of them. You want us to walk in strong faith and courage. You want us to remember that every breath we take is because of your grace and mercy. You also want us to trust you in what is best for each one of us. Lord, whatever comes our way and however you choose for it to all play out, may we accept it with grace and humility.

How grateful I am for your healing of my mind and my body! I know many of the readers can testify to your goodness in their lives. May we be forever thankful and share with others all that you have done for us.

Lord, there may be someone reading this that has never put their faith in you. I pray that whoever it is, they would give their heart to you and you would save them and forgive them of all their sin, just like you did for me and so many others that are reading the blog today.

In Jesus Name,

Amen!

IF….you want to know more about putting your faith and trust in Christ, click here.

My Story …

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I’ve had some questions about what it was like when I came down with the virus last October/November. I thought I’d go ahead and share to document what I went through and maybe it will be a help to someone that has some questions or possibly some fear in dealing with all the unknowns of it.

To begin with, if you have kept up with my journey from last year, you know that I was on the tail end of the anxiety issues that I was struggling with when the virus hit. So, my emotions were very heavy as in understanding why I was having to deal with this unknown scary virus while trying to heal my mind from the fear that had consumed me for the past several months. What a journey! Again, in a million years, I would have never thought I would have gone through what I did. I still question it and all I can come up with right now is to deal with things that I pushed down for years and then use what I learned to possibly help someone else. If you haven’t ever gone through something like that, I don’t think you can even imagine the struggle and turmoil you can suffer from it all. Okay…enough of that…let’s talk about the virus!

Last October (2020) on the 30th, we were at our get away home in the Texas Hill Country. Our daughter, son-in -law and all the cutie pies were coming over for a get together. I worked most of the day getting games together, running to the grocery for last minute items and setting up a chocolate fountain with all the treats. I was having fun, but, I had a slight headache. I brushed it off as allergies. I usually don’t struggle with allergies, but I was telling myself it was allergies. I took some Advil and moved on. The evening came and what fun it was. My headache was getting worse. I also had zero appetite….which is good sign something isn’t clicking with me. Everyone left and I cleaned up and I then had a cough. I went to bed and coughed through the night. Every time I coughed, my head felt like it was going to burst open. I would hold my head to cough to ease the pain. I was a bit worried… but, still kept saying it was allergies. I stayed in bed most of the next day. I missed the big party with the kids that night and couldn’t decide if I was more sad about that or the fear that something was up. After all, I had worked hard to get my I Love Lucy costume ready and now it was a bust….no Lucy and Ricky this year! I began taking my temperature that afternoon and I was running a low temp of 99.

I was like you, probably. I had been staying home as much as possible. I ordered my groceries 95% of the time. I can count on one hand how many times I went to the store or anywhere. I had sanitizing wipes with me 24/7. I wiped everything down. I wore my mask everywhere! I’m the queen of germ fighting!

Back to my story…

During that first day, I would have moments where I felt pretty good. I would get up and try to do something around the house, but, within a few minutes I felt horrible again. Back to bed. The next day we had some friends that were in the area and they were coming to visit for the afternoon and the guys were going to golf. I had told them how I was feeling but thought it was “allergies” or something. The guys golfed and I visited with my friend. I felt okay, but not great. I stayed far from her. We picked up lunch and I didn’t touch anything that was hers. In the back of my mind I was scared. After they left late that afternoon, back to bed I went. I began taking some immune builder supplements and I took Tylenol cold and flu to sleep.

We drove back to west Texas the next day. I kept feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I was struggling with more fear. The fear that I had worked so hard on. I was trusting the Lord and at the same time, my mind was telling me that I was going down and I wasn’t going to be able to breathe. Jim knew I was scared and he would assure me I was okay. That 5 hour drive home was hard as I put the air vents on my face and concentrated on breathing. During my time of anxiety and when I got choked during a meal, which is another crazy story, the fear of not being able to breathe was one of the main things that I couldn’t shake!

We made it home and back to bed I went. My temperature would get up to 102 and then go back down. I was a wreck……mainly due to my mind. All the pictures I had seen on television constantly went through my mind. My cough wasn’t too bad, but enough to know it wasn’t normal. I also had a spot in my back that hurt terribly. This went on for the next couple of days. I began telling myself it was a cold, so I hung on not wanting to go get tested. Then Thursday afternoon came.

I got up and took my immune builder and by the way, it tastes and smells pretty bad. When I crawled back in bed I had the thought. “I didn’t taste that tablet I just took and it usually tastes terrible.” I went back to the kitchen and opened up the bottle and took a sniff of the terrible smelling and tasting tablets. I didn’t smell a thing. I had always heard that peanut butter is a smell you don’t want to lose, so I went to the pantry, opened up the jar and took a big sniff. Nothing! That’s when I thought, “okay, this is serious.” Losing taste and smell was one of the symptoms that I heard was part of the “virus.” Our doctors office was a pretty good drive away and I heard that people were going to a clinic in our neighborhood area. So I called them and they said if I came right then they could get me in before they closed at 5. Jim ran me up there. I could hardly hold my head up as I felt awful. I had to stay in the car until they came and got me. Finally, it was my turn. I was terrified. If you keep up with me, you know I have another one of those fears…doctors! I have never really gone to a doctor unless I had too and this past year, I have seen my share of doctors to make up for the 60 years of not having to go. Anyway, they were so nice and kind and they knew I was scared out of my mind. I know, I’m terrible! They did the little test. They used a long Q Tip type thing that is as long as my face. I thought they were going to just swab the nostril a bit and we’d move on. Oh, NO! She told me to lean my head back and the thing went up to my eyeballs. I was so glad when it was over. Then she said, “now for the other side!” I said, “are you serous?” She said, “Yes, lean your head back!” Lord have mercy. I was so glad when that was over. I had to wait a few minutes for the results. When she came in and said, “Positive,” my mind was going 90 miles a minute wondering what was going to happen. All I could see in my mind were those videos on the news of the over run hospitals and people on ventilators and body bags stacked in the hallways. I asked her what I was supposed to do. She said, “Well, nothing. Go home and rest and I will give you something for your cough, other than that, you might take some Vitamin C, D, Zinc and a Pro-Biotic” I said I was taking most of those and she said, “Good, you will have a head start on it all then.” She also told me that since I had my symptoms for almost a week now, I may be through the worst of it. That made me feel better. She also told me my lungs sounded good and strong. That helped a bit, too. I thought, if this is it, I can handle this. Then as I was leaving she said, “If you can’t breathe, go to the emergency room immediately.” I heard those words over and over in my head for the next three weeks. It took everything in me and with the Lord’s grace and mercy to not think the worst.

My cough was barely there after a couple of days. I didn’t take the cough medication hardly at all. I made sure I exercised and moved around a lot. I didn’t want anything to go wrong with my lungs. I took my supplements faithfully and when my nose got stuffy I would boil water and put peppermint essential oils in the water and breathe in as much as possible. If you do that, close your eyes, trust me. (it will burn your eyes) It helped tremendously. When my nose would get stuffy in both nostrils was when I had a tendency to panic, so I stayed on top of that big time. After a week and a half of dealing with that and with the fever up and down, I finally felt so much better. Just tired was my main complaint. I eventually got my energy back and all was well. I am extremely grateful!

Except for…

It has been 8 months and my smell is still messed up. Most things smell normal. The strange thing is the smells that I loved before, smell terrible right now. The only perfume I’ve ever been able to wear is Pleasures by Estee Lauder. Oh me, it smells terrible. My shampoo and bath gel are hard for me to tolerate. I loved cleaning with Pine-Sol. I always joked that I would wear Pine-Sol as perfume….but….when I smell it now, I get sick to my stomach. Jim’s coffee in the morning smells horrendous. Oh, and the sad one is…Jim’s cologne that I loved….it’s a no! One more weird thing, is I loved drinking a coke every now and then….okay, more than I should. It has the weirdest taste to it that has a smell with it. I can’t even! Which is really a good thing. I did discover that Dr. Pepper doesn’t do that…..which is a bad thing! If you know what I mean!

I know you will think I’m crazy when I say this….which you may already think that but, here it goes….

With my fear and anxiety issue from last summer and into the fall…..the fear of getting the virus was a big part of it. I honestly think the Lord allowed me to get it and get it over with. For the life of me, we can’t figure out where I got it from and no one got it from me. I was around the entire family the day I got sick. Jim didn’t even get it. Very strange. That’s just my thought. He was very merciful to me and for that I am very grateful. I have had the flu a few times and this wasn’t as bad as a couple of flu bugs I’ve had. For me, it was the fear of the unknown. Towards the end, the thing that helped me mentally was talking with a friend who lives far away that was going through the same thing. Her symptoms sounded a lot like mine and it was a comfort to know as I knew I was going to make it by what all she shared. So, all this to say, the FEAR that is spread with this is worse than anything. I’ve been sick many times in my life and you deal with it and you move on. This time it was different due to the information that is out there. I believe most of it is to scare the daylights out of us and keep us in fear! The unknown is scary.

My next post, I will share my thoughts on how to win the war of fear for the “virus.” If I can do it….anyone can! At least I made it anyway. I have a few things to share that I wish I would have known when all this happened. We don’t know what any day holds for us. If we get the virus, we don’t know for sure how it will end up. From what I see and know now….you chances are 99.98 percent that you will be okay and make it through. Those are pretty good odds, don’t you think? I don’t even gamble, but, I know those are good odds! I also know that we can win the war of fear!

I was around a few people a while back and they were talking about all the horrors of the virus and who had it bad. I raised my hand and said, “I had it!” Someone then said, “Yes, but, you didn’t have it that bad!” I just smiled and thought…..”as usual, it doesn’t count if you survived.” We don’t want to hear the good, just the bad! Since I lived, that means I didn’t have it bad? I wish I would have known it wasn’t bad when I was going through it. The damage that has been done to people’s mental health through this is very scary and very sad. It has to end! We need to hear the good and how to survive all the craziness and not bow down to the fears that are being thrown at us every single day.

Well, that’s my story…..I hope it helps relieve some of the unknown fears. If I had to sum it up and if it weren’t 2020 and I had these same symptoms, I would have said, “I”m going to bed with this horrible head cold….maybe a light flu…not sure!” But, since we have been bombarded with horrible disease, death 24/7, etc. etc…..it makes it a horrible thing to go through!

Trusting you are well and will stay well and put all your care and trust in your Savior! He’s right there beside you no matter what you are going through. Put your hand in His and let Him take care of you!

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:6-8

Fear or Faith…..the choice is ours! Which will you choose?

Until next time,

We Are Going To Be Okay!

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Hi Friends! It’s been awhile. So many things on my heart that I want to share with you and I struggle to not blurt everything out at once as to scare you off. So, I’m taking a deep breath…..breath in through the nose, counting to 6, slowly breathing out through the mouth and counting to 8. Sometimes holding it counting to 4 before breathing out. Trust me, I have learned that trick over the past year to calm my little self down and focus on what is in front of me. My biggest problem with the breathing exercise is I can never remember how many counts for each one. Okay, where was I? Oh….If you have kept up with my blog, then you know what my last year looked like. Never in a million years would I have thought that would happen! But, it did and Praise the Lord….I am so much better. I’m “me” again! Hopefully, that’s a good thing. I like to think I’m “me” again, but, much stronger and wiser. Who knew… I thought I was strong and wise before….surprises in my world as always! Can I tell you a quick little story….I know I’m on a rabbit trail…but, when I was at the tail end of my anxiety trial (I have no idea what to call it) I went to get my hair done. I didn’t want to go, but I knew it would make me feel better about myself. Yes, I cried on the way and I told the Lord, that I needed so badly to hear His voice somehow someway whether it be through someone or something. I told Him I need to hear that I would be strong again; strong mentally and physically. Well, anyway, when I got to the salon, the stylist, patted me and told me I was doing good and then she said, “You are going to be okay, you have always been a strong lady and you will be even stronger in no time!” You have no idea….I knew that was my answer from my Heavenly Father! I could tell you many more stories of ways I knew the Lord let me know He was right by my side and was using some amazing people to help me!

I’ve prayed about my blog for several months and was seriously thinking of stopping and forgetting about it. Which I had a few crying spells over it as I feel like it’s my baby as I began my blog over 10 years ago. I feel like it’s part of me. It’s grown with me and I have met some amazing people through blogging as well as interacted with some very special people! I haven’t had any peace about quitting, so, I’m hanging on. I often wonder what it would be like to be 80 years old and blogging away. Surely, I’ll give it up by then. We will see. I do have thoughts of “who wants to read the thoughts from a 61 year old?” Hold on while I do my breathing exercise again. Whew, 61….words leave me…I just don’t know how that happened. Through my ordeal this past year, I discovered I have some type of aging fears. I would say I’m probably 95% over it….but, that 5% pops up and tells me, your life is over, just go sit down and be quiet and wait until your time is up. Once I get a handle on that 5%, I realize that those are lies straight from the pit of H….E….double hockey sticks as my friend Shelby, always says. Since I was a young wife and mom and even a teen, I read after and listened to women who were in their 60’s and beyond that helped to show me the way through this crazy world of ours. How thankful I am for those women who answered the call to share their wisdom on being a woman after God’s own heart. I think of my sweet mom. She is 82 and going strong. She has always loved life and never sat around and complained about being older. That’s how I want to be.

In our social media culture, we see daily, amazing women who are in their 20’s and 30’s who seem to be doing it all….run a beautifully decorated home, make amazing wreaths for their front doors, organize their entire home in perfectly designed plastic containers, cook homemade meals, sew all their children’s clothes, put in a full garden of flowers, clean their house with homemade cleaning products, have date nights with their husbands and travel the world all the while taking amazing pictures of every detail and they look absolutely perfect. To be honest, I’m a bit glad that when I was raising my kiddos, homeschooling and supporting my husband in full time ministry all the while wondering if our budget was going to hold for the week, that I didn’t have social media to compare myself and my life to.

But, then on the other hand, how amazing is it that you can follow someone on various platforms of social media and be encouraged and inspired to be stronger and wiser as we strive to bring honor and glory to God in our daily lives.

I guess that is where I hope to come in. I so hope that my blog would somehow encourage and inspire you to be stronger and wiser and to let you know that you are not alone. You don’t have to be perfect in every situation of life and when hard times come….hopefully, you will hear me say, “you are going to be okay!” Those very words were a life saver for me this past year.

When I “went down for the count” last year, I made a call to a local natural health doctor. I honestly thought I was done for…..I thought my life was basically over. I was scared out of my mind. The lady who answered the phone had the most kind voice and she said, “Beverly, you are going to be okay, don’t worry.” When she said that I was going to be okay, a feeling of peace came over me and for the first time in a long time, I thought, “maybe I will be okay?”

So, all that to say, let’s get back to blogging and encouraging each other. We have a full life ahead of us regardless of our age. If you are breathing right now, you have a purpose. I learned so much this past year and I’m sure I will be sharing something each time I write, that was life changing for me in hopes that someone needs to hear it. If you don’t and you have life by the tail and all is well, hallelujah! I bet there is someone around you that needs to hear your secrets.

My blog is me. I don’t design it to reach millions of people. I don’t study all the stats; I don’t even know how to do that anyway. I don’t make money with my blog, so you won’t find pop ups and ads blinking everywhere. If I promote something, it’s because I believe in it and I’ll do my best to provide a link. Every once in a while, if I provide a link that is able to provide a compensation of some sort, I will donate that to a human trafficking organization that I love to support. (Operation Underground Rescue)

So, breath with me and let’s live life to the fullest….. together!

One last thing….I would be honored if you would subscribe to my blog as to not miss a post. I try to link on social media when I make a new post, but, you never know when I may take a hankering to get off of social media for a break now and then. All you do is go to the link on the right and fill out your name and email address. Each time I make a post it will pop up in your inbox. Also, if you think something I wrote would help someone, feel free to share my blog with someone. Oh, and I love comments, either in the comment section or you can private message me through the email provided. I love hearing how the Lord is working in your life through your daily living.

Remember……We are going to be okay….together!

Here are the links to the posts on my “Anxiety Season.” (in case you missed them)

Who Me? Anxiety?

A Bump In the Road – Dealing with Anxiety

Journaling and Crying Through Anxiety

Journaling and Crying Through Anxiety

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As they say, “What a ride!”

Yes, this has been the wildest ride I’ve ever been on in a very long time. On this ride, I was very well educated on all things dealing with anxiousness, fear, worry and just being downright scared to death! There is nothing worse than a feeling of “am I losing control of myself?” “is this the end?” “what’s going to happen to me?” “I had so much to live for, I’m not ready to have it all ended yet!” “But, wait, I still have some cleaning out and decluttering to do!” Yes, I actually thought that last one.

So many thoughts went through my mind while not being able to do anything but lay in bed (or is it lie) waiting for the nausea to go away. Waiting for the fearful thoughts and anything negative in my life flooding my mind to go away. They didn’t for 3 long months.

Journaling…

My life line was my sweet DIL. She told me at the very beginning, “Madre, (that’s what she calls me) you need to journal everything you are thinking and work out in your journal all those negative feelings. Even if you have to write things and then tear it up and throw it away. Get it written down and work through it.

I love journals and I pick them up every time I see a cute one at the store. So, I went to my storage cabinet (that needs to be decluttered) and picked my favorite. I began writing and writing and writing….it became a habit. Every anxious thought I had, I ran to my journal and it was the thing that helped me make it through the day. I talked to the Lord just as if I were writing Him a letter. I made lists of things I hoped to do someday, that I honestly thought I would never be able to do due to fear of losing my mind. I wrote about past hurts that had been so far pushed down that it was like a bubbling well of things from years ago. I wrote about things I need to forgive and forget. I also wrote about things I needed to forgive myself for. It goes on and on.

Five journals later… I began a new one this week. I’m excited about this one as it is filled with much hope and thankfulness as I am finally seeing light at the end of this spiraled tunnel. I reach for my journal in the morning and again in the evening to record my day and my thoughts. It’s really my prayer journal because it is all my thoughts that I talk to the Lord about constantly.

There is just something about getting thoughts out of my head onto paper that makes such a difference. I’ve always been that way with my making lists of things to do. Once I get it all on paper, I don’t stress over all that needs to be done.

I may never let up on my journaling as it is now a habit for me. I would encourage you to begin journaling. You don’t even have to do it everyday. Maybe when you have something you are dealing with, it might help you to write it all out in order to think more clear. I realize journaling isn’t for everyone, but, I do know it made a difference for me!

Crying…

I have always been one that holds back my tears. I don’t know why. Every now and then, I can’t hold them back and they just flow. My regular thing to do is leave the room and find a place to cry where no one is around. Pull myself together and act like nothing bothers me.

During the past few months I had many crying out spells. Yes, crying out to God for answers, help, understanding, healing, etc. I often thought, what if I’m hurting myself, causing ulcers or causing myself to not heal due to the stress of crying.

I had a friend tell me that crying was good for me. I read up on crying and was amazed. Evidently, God knew what He was doing when He gave us tear ducts, right? It’s okay to cry, don’t hold back your tears. Tears are a healthy way to express emotion.

Benefits of crying:

*Lowers stress

*Removes toxins

*Kills bacteria

*Releases feelings

*Resolves grief

There are a few more benefits of crying. I encourage you to do a study on the benefits of shedding tears. Until then, don’t be ashamed to cry. Now you know it’s good for you. What isn’t good for you is to hold back tears and stuff those feelings down. It’s time to deal with what’s bothering you and let the tears flow. Blessed is the one who has someone who will sit with you and let you just cry and not judge you for it and tell you to stop crying. By the way, when your child cries..don’t tell them to stop crying, dry it up, etc. Let them cry and help them deal with what is upsetting them. That was just a free thought for you….no charge!

Every tear we shed, God knows all bout it. He cares and hurts when we hurt. In Revelation 21:4 we read that “He will wipe away every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Until then, He has given us a beautiful life to live and live it to the fullest until He comes or our time has ended here on earth. All those tears? Just as David said Psalm 56:8, “You number my wanderings; put my tears in your bottle.” God knows why you have shed every tear and some day we will have the full picture and understand so much more than we do now.

For now, count your blessings, give your worries to Jesus and let your tears flow in rejoicing and in the hard times.

Until next time…

A Bump In The Road – Dealing With Anxiety

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A few thoughts on what I’m learning in the Anxiety Department:

A little bump in the road is how the natural/holistic doctor described this issue I’ve been dealing with. She made it sound so promising that I would win this battle with time and healing. So thankful for her encouragement and knowledge. I was told by another doctor that I had “situational anxiety.” Due to the covid and crazy culture we have right now.

During this time of healing, I’ve learned many things about myself. You get so focused on self because you are so scared and have no idea what is going on. So you are searching for answers and trying to figure out how and why this has happened to you. Especially, if you are an analyzer as myself. Yep, that’s one of the things that I have learned about Moi!

I analyze everything, to death. I didn’t really notice it before. The good news is, that this can be a good thing. But, when you get focused on the bad, such as what I did, it can be detrimental. As I mentioned in my last post, I was consumed with the news. I was keeping up with the death count, the number of infected people, how many ventilators were being used, if masks really worked, on an on and on…..how much can a person take? Well, obviously, not much as far as I’m concerned. Oh, let’s not forget the riots that broke out. The violence, instead of watching it and saying, “how sad,” I was thinking, “WHY?” “How do people get to that place in their lives to do such destruction and hurt other people?” It consumed me. It hurt to watch.

I have done the same thing in life. When people are cruel and say hurtful things to one another or just down right hateful….especially those that call themselves Christians, I can’t even comprehend it. I try my best to figure it out and try to imagine their lives and why they would be so hateful and cruel….it has boggled my mind for years.

We were in full-time ministry for many years and I have seen the worst of the worst. I have also served in the church as a lay person and still saw things that blew my mind. I’ve had horrible things said to me and about me….from people that don’t even know me. Then you watch these same people get up and sing or speak on love and forgiveness and it just sends me over the top. I can’t figure it out. It’s obviously been going on since the beginning of time. It’s called….sin. *Note….I’ve seen the best of the best and have so many sweet memories of wonderful godly people….so thankful!

Oh wait, unless you think I’m Miss Perfect and never do wrong….wrongo. I have caught myself many times thinking mean things about someone and by the grace of God, I am immediately reminded of who I am and who I represent and I seek forgiveness.

During this time of self examination (nothing else to do while staying in bed for weeks) The Holy Spirit reminded me, “Beverly, you have been harboring unforgiveness for things that happened to you years ago, it’s time….it’s time to let it go and get it settled.” Well, several pages of journaling and prayer, I got many things settled. Lot’s of forgiveness, lot’s of tears, lots of regrets. I could make excuses all day and say, “but, you don’t realize what she/he said to me!” “You don’t realize what a living nightmare they caused our family because of their hypocrisy.” I could go on and on, but, I heard in my heart, “Yes, Beverly, I know all about it and I carried you through all of that, it’s time for you to realize that you don’t need to worry about it anymore….just forgive.”

I can honestly say, that it feels so good to just let it go. I can honestly say, that yes….those thoughts pop up in my head from time to time and I have to remember that it doesn’t matter, I’ve forgiven and I’ve moved on.

I’ve also learned during this time that I am a Highly Sensitive Person. Yes, there is actually a term for it. After reading up on this, I thought, “Oh, so that’s why certain things have been hard for me!” Since I was very young, I take things to heart. I remember being in grade school and if I saw someone being mean to another person, it broke my heart. I could never make fun of anyone. I saw handicap kids be made fun of and cruel jokes made about teachers, other kids, etc…..I couldn’t handle it. It made me very sad. In high school, there was a girl in one of my classes that was constantly picked on by the “cool kids” in the class…..inside, my heart ached for that girl and to this day, I can remember where she sat, how she looked and the things they said and did to her. I often wonder where she is today. I so wish I would have been brave enough to take her by my side and protect her from such hatefulness, but….I didn’t…..as a shy kid, you miss out on doing things like that. But…if I could go back, I would!

When I see a homeless person on the corner begging for money…my heart aches. I wonder, where is his family…..does he have kids…..how did he get to this point in life…..many times I give money even though we aren’t supposed to and then I end up wiping tears away as I drive off. My heart aches for them.

Don’t even get me started on when I see children being mistreated while out and about. I can’t even….let’s move on…

I can get on Facebook just to catch up on everyones life and up pops tragedy….pictures of people in the hospital, pictures of actual wounds, yes, I’ve seen the grossest pictures on Facebook. Don’t understand why people like to share gross pictures, but, for people like me, it sends me over the edge…can’t handle it. I had a dear friend tell me that we weren’t created for so much information being thrown at us. Our minds are constantly overloaded with situations, tragedies, sadness from people all around the world that we don’t even know. Such as you reading this….I so hope that I can be an encouragement to you if you are dealing with any type of anxiety or just trying to figure out our interesting world that we are living in right now. I don’t have all the answers, but, I know who does. I’ve always felt that when we go through things that we are to figure it out and then help someone else…All the while giving all the glory to God for his goodness and mercy.

I have always had a hard time visiting someone in the hospital. When I walk in a hospital or even drive by it, I feel sadness…I hurt for the people suffering and the families dealing with all the issues of caring for someone and watching their loved ones suffer. It hurts me to the core. I actually will get sick to my stomach when I make a hospital visit. Needless to say, I make every excuse possible to not have to visit someone at the hospital. I know….terrible!

I watched a football game with my Jim yesterday and when I see a tackle and they go down hard, I get an actual tightness in my stomach. It’s like I can actually feel the pain they must feel. Makes me hurt!

All that to say, being a Highly Sensitive Person can be good. You have compassion for people, but, it also can hinder things. If you take so many sad things to heart and you stuff it down and don’t deal with them, it only hurts you. On a positive note…. I would rather be a very sensitive person than a cruel uncaring person. I’m thankful for that part.

Well, those are just a couple of the many things I have learned through this interesting situation. If you are like me, you believe that all things work together for good to those that love God….that would be me, so I have seen the good in many things and I can’t wait to share them with you, eventually. For now, I so hope that you will examine yourself and realize who you truly are and how God designed you and don’t let anyone make you feel less important or worthless because of how you are and how you think. Most importantly...You accept who you are. We are to accept how we are and become the best we can be with the gifts that we have and when we see a flaw in ourselves, we correct it and deal with it in a healthy manner. You are a special creation, created by an amazing and loving God. Don’t let anyone take that from you……ever. As a preacher I once knew would always say……”If someone doesn’t lift you up and they tear you down…..mark them and avoid them.” Simple, right? Well, you have to really work on it and be confident in yourself and most of all…………forgiving. We are all sinners saved by Grace… by a forgiving God. I so hope and pray that you know without doubt of this truth. If not, click here to learn how you can meet Him right now.

Until next time,

Who Me? Anxiety?

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Again….I’m still here! I think that’s what I said on my last post, right? If you didn’t read my last post on my choking incident, you can click here to see what all transpired. I still can’t believe that happened. After what I’ve been through the last 4 1/2 months makes that seem like a walk in the park….well, sort of.

I have never had an anxiety or panic attack. I’ve never suffered from serious anxiety…..until 5 months ago.

In reading some of my stories on my blog, you know that I was extremely shy growing up and I have worked hard as an adult to overcome my shyness and with shyness comes fearfulness. Fearful of just about everything. I felt like as an older adult, I had a handle on it. I have been able to do things that as a child/teen I would never dream. Never thought about it or worried about it…..so I thought. Getting nervous about things, or deeply hurt by incidents was just a norm that I had learned to handle. How did I handle it? By stuffing it down and not dealing with it. Guess what….that’s not a good thing to do. If you are a stuffer like me, now is the time to stop. You don’t want to make waves, you want peace, so you stuff it down. You don’t want confrontation of any kind, so you stuff, you leave it alone, you forget about it…until something happens and it all bubbles out and what a disaster it will be. We will visit that subject on another post. I’ve learned a lot, trust me! If you look in the dictionary for the word “stuffer,” you will see my picture.

The only way I know how to describe what happened to me is to start from the beginning of this nightmare! In March we were having a wonderful time in Branson at a PraiseFest, which is a Southern Gospel Music Festival that lasts for three days. We’ve gone for the last several years and love it. As you know, in March, the big shut down began. While in a concert along with maybe 2,000 other people I was getting texts from friends and family asking me why we were there while the virus was quickly spreading. I was basically in the dark, I knew something was going on, but, I didn’t know to be in panic mode. I even got some comments on my social media from people telling me how irresponsible I was being for being there.

When the final concert was over, we had plans to stay longer in Branson and take in some shows and shopping. The hotel that we always stay in was starting preparations for shutting down. They told us we could stay through our reservation, though. After one day of being the only ones in the hotel, we decided we might want to head on home. With all the panic and shutdowns starting, I became a bit fearful. I had even wondered if we would get home. I had the thought, “What if they close the border of the various states we drive though and we can’t get home?” I couldn’t get home fast enough. I was worried about stopping at rest stops and restaurants all the way home. I’ve always been sort of a germaphobe, so I always am watchful for germs and I am the one who always has disinfectant wipes for everyone.

We finally made it home! I went into lockdown mode. I didn’t go anywhere. I didn’t even go see my mom as fear of if I had something I would spread it to her. I had a container of disinfectant wipes at the back door for when Jim came in. He even changed clothes in the garage for a while. I ordered our groceries, wiped everything down, etc. etc. As I’m sure you did as well. As you know, my choking incident happened a week after we got home.

I’m a news fan. I’ve always had a love for politics and current events. I had the television on with the news most of the day everyday. I listened as I worked around the house. I also listened to a talk radio program each day. This was during the time of the ventilator talk. Every time I heard the word ventilator, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My shortness of breath was scaring me. I was having a hard time swallowing. I even stopped taking my vitamins as they wouldn’t go down. I took very small bites when eating. When I laid down at night, I could feel my heart beating. I became fearful of having a heart attack. This went on for another couple of months.

One evening we went to dinner with some friends. I was asked to describe my choking escapade. As I began talking about it, I got very hot and I was having trouble breathing. Of course the joke of having a hot flash was said. Long story short, the next morning I woke up sick to my stomach. I thought maybe food poisoning or something. This went on for a week. I then went to the doctor. Was told I had a stomach virus. I was also told that I was hyperventilating. I was also given something for anxiety to calm me down. I wasn’t able to take the medication as it made me feel worse. I struggled to do anything. I became more and more fearful. I’ll spare you the details but, I did go to the emergency room one night and had a scope done and my esophagus was stretched to help with swallowing. I also had two ulcer like areas in my stomach.

After two days in the hospital, in my mind, I figured I was back to myself…but once I got home, the fearful thoughts and the constant nausea went on for another 2 1/2 months. I didn’t sleep hardly at all for those 2 1/2 months. I tried another medication and it was worse than the first one. I took it for two days and stopped. I had zero appetite. I lost 31 pounds during this time as well. I forced myself to eat applesauce and bananas and would gag each time I ate. I honestly thought I was going to die. I hurt all over. My stomach hurt constantly. No sleep. Fearful thoughts that wouldn’t stop. I could go on, but, I’ll spare you. And then….

I went to a Natural/ Holistic Doctor in our area. She examines your eyes and can see all that is going on in your body. She said that I looked like I had suffered what someone with PTSD goes through. A lot of emotional stress. She put me on a regimen of natural supplements. My body was depleted. Not to mention, she was the most kind and compassionate lady who convinced me that I was going to be fine and it would just take time. She assured me I wasn’t dying. How thankful I am for her.

During this time, my daughter-in-law was my huge encourager. She coached me through this entire ordeal with words of wisdom, love and truth. How thankful I am for her. My Jim has been amazing. I don’t know where I’d be right now if I didn’t have the support from these three amazing people! Not to mention, friends and family who assured me of their love and support.

As of today, I am almost at the end of this nightmare. The nausea finally left almost a month ago. No anxious surges throughout my body. I’m gaining my strength back (hopefully, not the weight) and still working on positive thinking.

Throughout this ordeal at the encouragement of my amazing DIL, I have been journaling about everything. I have realized that I have suppressed many things over the years of hurts and various things that have happened to me in my 61 years. What a journey this has been.

I have been a Christian since I was 14 and have lived my life for Him since then. I’ve read all the verses about worry, fear and trust. I thought I had those down pat! Evidently, I had some work to do in those areas. I have no idea how someone could go through this without the confidence of a loving Heavenly Father right by their side. I have never felt closer to God than I am now. He has carried me all these years through all the ups and downs. All those times when I just couldn’t understand the cruelty of people or when bad things happen, He was always there walking me through it. Having the peace of God is the most important thing to me. How grateful I am to have the confidence in my Savior!

I have learned so much about anxiety and am still learning. It’s very real and very scary. I had never been so scared in all of my life. I had no idea what was happening and how to stop it. I have also never worked so hard for something in my life while climbing out of the spiral of anxiety. I would never wish this on anyone. (Lot’s of I’s in this post…but, it is what it is)

The reason I am sharing is hopefully to help someone reading this. I know we aren’t given a manual for what to expect with anxiety. It’s like we have to figure it out ourselves. I did lot’s of searching and asking and found out that what I was going through was normal. I also found out that many people don’t have a clue what someone goes through. That is when I was the most frightened. It seems there are so many symptoms of anxiety and not everyone has them all. Everyone is different. So it’s encouraging when you read about someone that has the same symptoms as you do. You then, get a little relief in thinking, “Okay, maybe I’m not dying or going as crazy as I think I am.”

I will share more that I have learned on different posts only if I think it will encourage someone that is going through it or knows someone who is suffering from anxiety attacks. You have no idea how comforting words, affirmation, prayer and support helps someone as they are going through this.

So there, you go. I’m trying to keep it short to not overwhelm. I do have a few things to share as to possibly prevent something like this happening to you or someone you love and ways to support those going through it. Let’s just say, my eyes have been opened greatly!

Until next time…..

Here I Am!

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I’m still here, I promise. I have so much to share with you since I last posted. I couldn’t believe it when I saw that our last time to visit was January 21st. Where does the time go? Everyday I think to myself, “I must share this on my next post!” Here we are almost a month and a half later.

Today, I’m going to share my crazy evening last night. I still can’t believe it happened.

Tomorrow, I’ll do a post to catch up on what else has been going on and announce the winners of my book give away. Forgive me for taking so long on that little project!

Yesterday was my second day to be under self-quarantine. We just returned from a trip and we were around lot’s of folks, so I thought for safety I would stay in. I have my long list of things to get done that I’m anxious to accomplish during this time. Speaking of…..isn’t this a scary time? We will talk about that tomorrow. Back to my crazy story…

Since I am staying in, I have told myself, “No eating out!” So you know what that means…..back to my cooking mitts. Which, so sorry, isn’t my favorite thing to do. But, I’m positive and I’m going to change my ways.

I was so proud, I put my chicken out to thaw yesterday and then I marinated it and put it on a grill for dinner. By the time my Jim got in, it was ready. I set our little area on the bar where we usually eat when I cook and began eating as we caught up on the day. After I took my first bite of the chicken, I think I was talking at the same time…I can’t remember. All I do remember is getting the hiccups and my chest hurt terribly. I sat there for about 5 minutes trying to breath slowly as Jim was talking away. He then said, “are you okay?” I held my hand up and shook my head yes and got up to walk around thinking that would help my food go on down. Well, it seemed to get worse. It was lodged in my chest and it hurt like crazy. I was getting scared as I have a HUGE fear of not being able to breath. I have nightmares about it a lot. Anyway, Jim kept wanting to help me, but there was nothing he could do and I was trying to stay calm and I thought relaxing would help. It didn’t. After 20-25 minutes, I was thinking, “I’m going to die.” Jim kept telling me I was okay, to just relax and breath. I then was able to say, “Call 911!” My hands were tingling so bad I couldn’t hold on to anything and my face was starting to have that same tingling sensation. I couldn’t swallow. I felt like my air was harder to breath.

Let me just stop here and say, If you know me very well, you know that I am terrified of anything to do with a doctor, hospital, needles, etc.! I don’t know, I’m guessing a couple of things when I was a child that happened has made me paranoid. I have trouble breathing when I have to go to the hospital to visit someone…it’s bad. I seriously could have an anxiety attack when in hospitals or doctors offices. I know, I need counseling. I have no idea how I had two children…Anyway…

The paramedics arrived in about 5 minutes. The entire time I was sitting down with my eyes closed. I couldn’t open them. Jim kept saying “look at me.” I could hardly hold my eyes open. I was quoting scripture in my head:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
 Give us this day our daily bread.
 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

My other favorite scripture when I get in a pickle is:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

I was also saying, “Lord, you know I’m scared of choking and not being able to breath, give me strength for this!”

By then the paramedics were checking my vitals? Is that what they are called? They said I was getting plenty of oxygen and that I needed to get to the emergency room as it was lodged in my esophagus. I could barely stand up as they put me on the stretcher. I felt very safe as I knew if my breathing got blocked they could help.

Of course also going through my mind was the CoronaVirus. As they held my hand they had gloves on and I remember thinking, “Are those gloves clean?” Anyway…

As they pushed the stretcher out on the porch to head to the ambulance…..it happened. I’ve never thrown up like that before. Usually when you have to throw up, you know it and you are waiting for it. Bam! I threw up all over myself and I heard one of the medics say, “There it is!”

Lord have mercy! I was so embarrassed and relieved at the same time. I wanted to just cry. I said, “Hallelujah!” I’m sure they thought, “we’ve got us a real winner here!”

They said “let’s get her back inside so the neighbors don’t have to watch this!” Long story short, I’m in my entry way on a stretcher with throw up all over me and they are taking my “vitals” again. My blood pressure was pretty high but they said that was expected for what I just went through. They were the nicest guys. Did I say that already? I was wearing my leggings with a long sweat shirt type thing. They asked if I could take my sweater off to do the blood pressure, etc. Thank the Lord I had the presence of mind to say, “I don’t have a shirt on under this.” Can you imagine if I said, “Okay!” Which I have a story about that one, but another day!

They left and I got cleaned up and put my jammies on and talked to my kiddos on the phone to let them know that my time was almost up but I made it. They are stuck with me a little longer.

Thankful for my Jim who helped me not panic any more than I did! He was patient, a bit scared and kept me safe! If he wouldn’t have been home, I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now.

One more lesson from this:

As they were taking me to the ambulance another thought went through my head:

“I’m so glad I got up this morning and took my shower, put my make up on, fixed my hair and even put jewelry on as I was hanging around the house for my 2nd day of self-quarantine.” Can I get another Hallelujah!

Let’s hope Day 3 of staying home isn’t as eventful.

FYI….As of Thursday, March 19th, late afternoon, my comments are now working. I know so many left some sweet comments on my FaceBook page, so feel free to leave a comment here as well or you can always email me, too!

The Time Has Come…

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Yes, the time has come! I’ve been putting it off long enough and just have to put a stop to it and do something serious and drastic. Oh, yes, I have played around with it and pretended I was serious and “tried” a few things to correct it. On the average all the things that I’ve tried, it probably lasted maybe a day or two.

What am I talking about? The dreaded “D” word! DIET! I know, I know…I’ve read all the articles where you aren’t supposed to say “diet.” The word die is is in it, right, I get it. I also have read where you just be careful in what you eat, etc. Well…something is wrong with me because that isn’t working!

We just returned from a fun trip to Carmel, California. What a beautiful place it was. I knew that when I returned home, I would begin some type of plan to get rid of my extra fluff once and for all. I just wasn’t sure. Yes, I prayed about it. Read several things on losing weight and it was always on my mind. Well…..I’m home now.

The Time Has Come!

I’m one of those people that has tried many different things to lose weight. The word is try. Maybe for a day. I also believe anything will work if you do it. That’s the key phrase….DO IT! (for longer than a day or one week)

I did lose weight a few years ago and oh, my goodness, I felt so good. I felt so good that I didn’t keep doing what I was doing to lose the weight. I got lazy in my walking and watching what I ate. So, here I sit wondering why I was so crazy to let that happen.

I never really had a weight problem growing up. When I got married my wedding dress was a size 8. I think that’s the last time I saw an 8 in my dress size. When we had our first little cutie pie I gained much weight…should I say how much? Okay, I gained almost 60 pounds. I loved Butterfingers and dip cones from Dairy Queen. I treated myself one too many times, evidently. I lost most of the weight after she was born. Three years later we had our next cutie pie. Don’t ask me what happened….I think my favorite treat was… everything….I’m not sure how much I gained etc. because we didn’t have a scale and I never weighed….but….I do know what the nurse told me when I was in the hospital about to deliver our cute little red head. That number will forever be etched on my brain. I can still see the number, too. Nope, I’m not telling what that number is. Maybe when I get over this hurdle I will because….right now, I’m just a few pounds away from that very number. I could say it’s baby weight, but, my baby is 33 years old. Let’s move on…

So, Beverly what in the world are you going to do? So glad you asked!

I’m going to begin the Jenny Craig plan. I’m committing to 2 months of doing the program. I’ve already ordered the materials and food. I cleaned out the pantry and refrigerator and here I sit waiting for the arrival of my life for the next 8 weeks. I know the food is really good because Jenny Craig is one of those things that I tried before for about 3-4 days. I can’t remember what got in my way to stop…but, that was so yesterday. Not thinking about that….

With me sharing my plan for this major hurdle that I have been battling for awhile will help me stay committed. Right? We will see….

Feel free to follow along on my Instagram and Facebook as I’ll be sharing the details of my 8 weeks on Jenny Craig. I may write about it once and a while on my blog.

So, to go along with my series of being ready for 2020…..this is the one on getting my self back in shape. 2020 is the year. Okay, I said that about 2019….but, I’m serious now! Really, I am.

If you are wanting to get your weight under control in 2020, hopefully, we can encourage one another.

Here is a before picture! You didn’t think I was going to take one of those where you are standing in a pair of yoga pants and a crop top did you? Nope, not me….this will have to do.

Okay….one more. I think we get the picture….Now Is The Time!

I’m excited to share what the next subject is on Being Ready for 2020! I’ll be back to share in a couple of days. Until then, I will hopefully be shrinking away.

Oh, one more thing….I think I forgot to mention that I will be getting back to my walking program. I know! I do not like exercise at all! Even walking. I don’t like to sweat. I don’t like to wear walking shoes and walking clothes. I always said I would not be one of those people who live in workout clothes….but, NOW IS THE TIME for now anyway. Don’t get me wrong…it’s great for other people.. I just don’t like it for me. As I’ve learned many times….Never Say Never.

Click here to read about Being Thankful in 2020

Click here to read about Letting the Negativity Go in 2020

Click here to read about Being Organized and Clutter Free in 2020

Now Is The Time to Get Fit!

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A Home For Two

I’m still trying to lose the weight that I gained with my babies!  Oh wait, my baby is now 30 years old!  That excuse is not working anymore.  When I had our first baby girl, I gained almost 60 pounds.  Yep, crazy, right?  I maybe lost half of it before I had our baby boy.  I then gained, of course, while expecting him.  So, it all began, I just packed it on year after year, day by day.  I never really tried to lose weight.  I wanted to, but obviously not bad enough.  I was busy with life;  ministry, homeschooling and just enjoying making a home. I just never made the effort.  When my “baby boy” was 14, something clicked.  I was ready.  I joined a group that was doing a book study on weight loss.  When I weighed in for my first weigh in, I weighed exactly the same as I did when I stepped on the scale in the hospital right before delivery!  I gasped in the hospital so you can imagine what I did when I saw that same number 14 years later.  I did the program exactly as they said and I was on a mission to lose weight.  I did it.  I lost almost 60 pounds.  I never felt better.  It was fairly easy to do and I loved meeting with the group that I was with.  My family supported me and encouraged me daily.

I got comfortable.  So comfortable that I didn’t worry about what I ate any more.  I never thought about it.  I became lax in my walking and watching what I ate.  Now…the weight has crept back on, pound by pound.  I’m to that point where I want to and have to get serious again about losing and not going back to the old ways of no exercise and not caring what I eat.  I’ve tried different groups and even led a few, but for some reason I just couldn’t get that feeling of, “this is it, I’m doing this until I’m at my goal!”  But, today, I am determined to get this done and over with.

“To see a change, we have to make a change, and Now Is The Time!” -Beverly Dillow (that’s me)

Are you needing to make a change to be more fit and healthy?  Now is the time!  Don’t put it off until tomorrow.  Waiting until Monday isn’t a good thing either.  I looked forward to so many Monday’s while living it up until then and then Monday came and I said, “maybe next Monday!”  I can testify, that isn’t a good thing!

If you aren’t in the empty nest years and you are in the middle of raising little ones.  I’m encouraging you to begin today, to get fit and healthy.  Don’t put it off.  I so wish I would have done something when my babies were small and I know I would have enjoyed life so much better and things would have been easier.  So, take it from me…..NOW IS THE TIME!  Just do it, don’t wait.

I can still hear my doctor tell me when I was in for a visit while expecting my first baby.  He said, “Beverly, the older you get the harder it will be to lose your weight, so start now!”  Oh, how I wish I would have listened to him seriously.  I didn’t think it was that bad.  I also didn’t have a scale during all those years, so I never kept up with what my weight was doing.  So, get a scale, be intentional and get busy getting in shape.

You may be in perfect shape and fit.  What a blessing!  Encourage someone that needs help and get along side of them and lovingly take them under your wing.  Of course, wait until they ask you.  It might not go over well to walk up to someone and say, “I can help you lose weight and get fit if you let me.”  It might offend them outwardly, but inside, they may be thrilled that someone cares. But still, let them come to you.  So find a way to make yourself available.  Start a book study or begin an exercise group.  I have a feeling something will come up if you truly want to help others.

Remember…..To see a change, we have to make a change and NOW IS THE TIME!

now-is-the-time